Scotch Arms Vs Oxhill Central (league) Farewell Old friend 2 weeks ago Singe shocked the footballing world by announcing he was retiring from Sunday league football. Singe is going to leave a huge hole in the Arch backroom staff however will hopefully still be there on the sideline most games as a passionate spectator or even as part of the team! Sadly the strains of been a Saturday over 40s superstar means he needs a rest most Sunday mornings. Everyone at the arch would like to thank singe for his phenomenal efforts and commitment over the years he’s been at the club, and we hope to welcome him back one day after his well deserved break. Last week we were at home to Tantobie FC where we were 5-1 winners. #Worstboakes did write a match report but it was so bad we didn’t bother to post it. CatMeat was away in Portugal for treasurer training to help take over the role of Singe. Catmeat and singe have also agreed to carry on the traditional match report to keep our online fan base updated on the goings on. Onto this week where we were away in the league to The Scotch at the stadium. Fisher price made a surprise appearance and bonzo brown was back after his 3 week session with Kasey the hairdresser. Bott was out injured with piles, Andy Clarke the 80s pop star was still drunk so put a strap on his knee and pretended he was injured and bezzy was still recovering from the snip. Catmeat forgot the tape for the socks so had to beg the opposite team to lend some and Gateshead Scott from Ouston beat everyone’s late record this season turning up at 10:29. Pee had an egg for breakfast and Duffy2 watched the first half in the main stand by himself because he has an attitude problem. Ex manager Jeff got caught in the net retrieving my a stray ball and fell over. The arch cruised into a 3-0 first half lead with 2 cracking goals from Gateshead Scott from Ouston and a goal for dangerous Davies. We then hit the post, bar and missed chance after chance before gifting the scotch 2 goals to leave the game 3-2 with ten minutes remaining. We finally found the back of the net again with a goal from Dipton Dan from Gateshead and the game finished 4-2. Back in the changing rooms Kei told us all about his outbreak of a suspected STD, Gav said Scott deserved man of the match for both teams he was that good and we were all confused how sheep’s belly was so red, little luke thinks he’s been doing belly slide celebrations when we scored. Duffy 1 was waiting back in the club because his wallet was too heavy to carry around Elvis said he thinks duffy1 has been selling his hair to make all this money. No one knows the whereabouts of Chewy’s chancers Stanley’s best dressed man who hasn’t been spotted since he got his new underpants all those weeks ago. Just a reminder we have our bad Thursday fundraiser this week where we have entertainment from comedian Jake Roberts followed by music from our usual star Ellie Russel. All starting from 7pm, We hope to see yous all there.
All of the above stories are true. #UTA — with Gary Duffy.
Sent from my iPhone
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