Oxhill Central v Top Club (league)
Lolly Pop
The fallout from last week’s County Cup defeat has seen us hit us hard with a hundred quid in fines dished out from the FA for the red and yellow card bonanza. It also has us without Donna Pearce the strip thief and Gav who are both suspended for today’s home game against The Top Club. Our squad however has been bolstered with confirmation that all of our new signings Fisha, Fraser, Bonzo Brown, Bezz, Bott and Sensible Cap Josh are eligible to play this weekend. The 6 new signings make up for our absents players such as Gateshead Dan from Dipton who has vanished off the face of the earth and from Grosvenor Casino, Broccoli Head Matty who’s turned professional and is now on £2,500 per game at Tow Law and Shola the engine who’s got more injury’s that the Accident and Emergency Ward at Shotley Bridge Hospital. It’s also fast turning from Autumn into Winter and after last week’s injury you can bet your bottom dollar that this will be the last we see of Buttercup Monkley in an Arch strip until next August (he’s too good to bother with pre-season friendly’s in July). Also, in disappointing news Thursday evenings league meeting confirmed to us that Cragheed have resigned from the league and we lose the 3 points we gained from our meeting at the start of the season as all their results have now been expunged from the record book. Chewy’s chancers Stanley’s best dressed man turned up to the game with a giant bag of lolly pops, he said he hands these out to the children who knock on his door. He then gave one to any footballer who gave him a kiss on the cheek, Shola the engine refused to kiss him. Chewy then went in the huff ‘as his best mate in the club would not kiss him’ was the last thing we heard before he went home. Gav didn’t win on his scratch card, but he ate a bowl of spicy pasta that made his lips turn orange. Apparently, Donnelly the South Moor Messi’s Dad is going to ‘bray’ Singe and Dollar Tez. Monk was back in his normal strip today. He wore, green boots, orange socks, blue shorts a red top and a purple cap. Not sure what happened to the 16 layers of yellow clothes he had on last week. Sensible Cap Josh called the referee a ‘melted welly’ and kicked off when someone said Harry Potter was C**P. Did the Turkish Barber at The Moor cut Cat Meat’s hair with a spirit level? We lost the game 4.3 our goals coming from Joe Gill is brill 2 and Dangerous Davies. Stonka Brown pumped in the club that stunk and Manager JP has turned a funny shade of brown he said this happened last weekend on his double-glazing seminar, Shola the engine said Kangaroo’s come from South Korea.
Which leg is the oldest, the ones on the right or the one on the left?
Some of the above are true made up stories.
--
Regards
Singe
www.singevert.vpweb.co.uk
---------- Forwarded message ---------
From: Andy Thompson
Date: Sun, 14 Oct 2018, 17:56
Subject: Lolly Pop
To:
Oxhill Central v Top Club (league)
Lolly Pop
The fallout from last week’s County Cup defeat has seen us hit us hard with a hundred quid in fines dished out from the FA for the red and yellow card bonanza. It also has us without Donna Pearce the strip thief and Gav who are both suspended for today’s home game against The Top Club. Our squad however has been bolstered with confirmation that all of our new signings Fisha, Fraser, Bonzo Brown, Bezz, Bott and Sensible Cap Josh are eligible to play this weekend. The 6 new signings make up for our absents players such as Gateshead Dan from Dipton who has vanished off the face of the earth and from Grosvenor Casino, Broccoli Head Matty who’s turned professional and is now on £2,500 per game at Tow Law and Shola the engine who’s got more injury’s that the Accident and Emergency Ward at Shotley Bridge Hospital. It’s also fast turning from Autumn into Winter and after last week’s injury you can bet your bottom dollar that this will be the last we see of Buttercup Monkley in an Arch strip until next August (he’s too good to bother with pre-season friendly’s in July). Also, in disappointing news Thursday evenings league meeting confirmed to us that Cragheed have resigned from the league and we lose the 3 points we gained from our meeting at the start of the season as all their results have now been expunged from the record book. Chewy’s chancers Stanley’s best dressed man turned up to the game with a giant bag of lolly pops, he said he hands these out to the children who knock on his door. He then gave one to any footballer who gave him a kiss on the cheek, Shola the engine refused to kiss him. Chewy then went in the huff ‘as his best mate in the club would not kiss him’ was the last thing we heard before he went home. Gav didn’t win on his scratch card, but he ate a bowl of spicy pasta that made his lips turn orange. Apparently, Donnelly the South Moor Messi’s Dad is going to ‘bray’ Singe and Dollar Tez. Monk was back in his normal strip today. He wore, green boots, orange socks, blue shorts a red top and a purple cap. Not sure what happened to the 16 layers of yellow clothes he had on last week. Sensible Cap Josh called the referee a ‘melted welly’ and kicked off when someone said Harry Potter was C**P. Did the Turkish Barber at The Moor cut Cat Meat’s hair with a spirit level? We lost the game 4.3 our goals coming from Joe Gill is brill 2 and Dangerous Davies. Stonka Brown pumped in the club that stunk and Manager JP has turned a funny shade of brown he said this happened last weekend on his double-glazing seminar, Shola the engine said Kangaroo’s come from South Korea.
Which leg is the oldest, the ones on the right or the one on the left?
Some of the above are true made up stories.
--
Regards
Singe
www.singevert.vpweb.co.uk
