Blacky Mill Vs Oxhill Central FC (Cup) Letdown After a very wet and cold November week, we waited in suspense to see if our game away to Blacky Mill in the quarter finals of the Consett charity cup would go ahead. The pitch was confirmed to be fine and Blacky Mill were up for the fight to move into the semi-finals. Sadly, the same couldn’t be said about The Arch who could barely seem to scramble 11 players together. Bonzo Brown had a Saturday night pint ruling him out for the Sunday morning, Gateshead Dan from Dipton said it was too cold for a topless model to be playing football and Donnelley the South Moor Messi was scared of the rain. That’s not all either, others who were missing included, Little Luke who has hurt his wrist arm wrestling with his new born baby, Gateshead Scott from Ouston and Sheep who were still struggling with Jet Lag, Broccoli Head Matty was Christmas shopping for the Broccoli Twins and Clarkey the 80s pop star was (as always) suffering from the drink but was away down the Lakes so we will let him off! We did just manage to muster together a starting 11 with Singe helping out and holding the only place on the bench. Veteran Gav spent the morning eating his picnic of ham and cheese sandwich and a cold smokey sausage, while Fisher and Pigeon Bez has a McDonalds breakfast date. At the pitch CatMeat gave out memorial armbands for poppy Sunday in memory of all the fallen hero’s. It’s a good job they never let their team down ! In the changing rooms Kei pumped and stunk the whole place out, Liam Jägermiester told us all he had morning sickness from his new tattoo and The Monk kindly stepped forward to wash the strips in place of Pee Mam who is busy moisturising after Liams new tattoo. The game kicked off and we immediately shot ourselves in the foot going behind from a couple of errors. Veteran Gav wore Joe Gill is Brills boots and it showed as he blazed over a good chance to draw level. We did manage to get to half time with the score at just 1-0 despite us been far from our best. At half time Liam Jägermiester asked PeeDog to check his new tattoo was okay. We then observed a fantastic 2 minutes silence, which involved a voice from Chopwell woods shouting “ill would wrap this dog leader round your head if you throw anything again”. The second half kicked off and we conceded another early goal, another error made it 3-0 and we faced an uphill battle to get anything from the game. The final whistle eventually went and we finished the game slumped in a 5-0 defeat. Back at The Arch, Semi-Pro Ben asked if the old men at the bar used to play for the arch in the 60s, Liam Jägermiester showed off his new tattoo, Dangerous Davies graffitied peoples meat draw tickets and Ex Manager Jeff said he had missed Nobby. Walter the pigeon man won the meat draw. Next week we are away to Winlaiton Queens Head and hope to be able to put behind us what’s been a bad day. (Incase I forgot to mention, Liam has a new tattoo) All the above stories are true. #UTA
Sent from my iPhone
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