Oxhill Central v Ouston Jnrs (NWD 1/4 final) Dirty Dennis Today we were finally back in action for our first game in 3 weeks. Alot has happened in that 3 weeks, we seen a game postponed due to frozen pitch 2 weeks ago and all travelled to Burnopfield last week in the storm to watch the ref bounce a ball on the pitch and say it was too wet to play, we then headed to the shepherd and shepherdess for breakfast along with another 3 teams who suffered the same fate due to the recent storms. Veteran Gav had a Sunday evening Facebook rant and said he was quitting football. Liam Jägermiester has added to his recent tattoo collection, now adding a kneck tattoo of The Arches 2 wingers, PeeDog said he thinks he’s David Beckham. Crabstick Cox celebrated his 19th birthday with Singe and CatMeat at the league meeting where he nominated himself to be the leagues safe guarding officer and sponsored the leagues new cup for next season which will be known as Crabstick Coxys Cup Competition. The time off had given time for Little Luke to recover from injury and Bonzo Brown to recover from his recent alcohol addiction. The only absentees were Donnelly the South Moor Messi who said he had slept in despite texting Ben Seenowt at 8am this morning. Ex manager Jeff was also missing because he “felt upside down”. New signing Jessie James finally managed to put on an arch strip for the first time since signing 8 weeks ago and was introduced to Veteran Gav in his normal way - indecent exposure. Pigeon man Bezzy turned up listening to Bag Pipes music and Sing turned up with his toe nails painted. We headed onto the pitch where storm Dennis was in full flow in a very cold and blustery morning, Shola the Engine still wore shorts and Duffy 1 said he can’t stand outside in that wind because it will effect his hair. PeeDog purchased bovril for all The Arch sidelines then had a huff when he had to do 2 trips to carry them all back. The game raced into action as Veteran Gav finished neatly to put The Arch 1-0 up after 8 minutes. A crazy 10 minutes saw 3 penalties awarded and The Arch go 2-1 ahead after Dangerous Davies rattled the post with one penalty and the hit net with his second. Half time came round and CatMeat had another Bovril with super fan Denise while Elvis hunted for stray footballs in the carpark. Second half was blighted by Storm Dennis as he assisted goals for both teams, another 2 goals from Dangerous Davies and one from Bonzo Brown seen us finish the game 5-3 and progress to the Semi Finals of the NWD cup. Jessie James made his Arch debut and CatMeat said he couldn’t go on because he had drank too much bovril. Safety Davies gave Dangerous Davies a rub down in return for his Hat-trick and Bozo Brown said I always thought people with black skin had black blood. Back at the club Joe Gill is Brill wouldn’t buy a meat draw ticket because his freezer is full, Crabstick Cox told us he tried to add the ref on Facebook because he liked him, Ex manager Jeff felt normal again and Half Witt won the meat draw. The question of the day was “who was the strange man in the white mask?” Some of the above are true made up stories (all the above stories are true) #UTA
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