Blackmill vs Oxhill Central (Jack Grigg Memorial Cup) Leprechauns Today we travelled to the woodland of chopwell to face blackymill in the semi final of the Jack Grigg Cup. Joe Gill is brill gave an inspirational speech to the group chat but no one fully understood his “text lingo”. Peedog and Chewy’s chancers Stanley’s best dressed man shared a pack of McCoy’s on the arch seat outside the club while the waited for the team to assemble. We then all stuck our fingers up at a young girl in a car. Bonzo brown told us all how sensible cap josh is based in an army camp in Gibraltar Rock, he then told us how he had a quiet night smoking shisha pipes with young Tazzo and his family. Sheep stunk the changing rooms out with his weekly dump. We had a relatively full squad today apart from Veteran Gav who didn’t turn up due to an incident with the sesh. He says he’s officially retired, we’re not sure if he means from football or the sesh. Liam jägermeister has been eating lozenges all week and never shut up all game. Barry grills made a guest appearance from the chopwell woods and Dipton Dan from Gatesheads dad was spotted for the first time ever without his gnome hat. We went 1-0 up after 30mins with a tap in from Dipton Dan from Gateshead after a Joe Gill is brill had a shot from a halfway line free kick. The next 60 mins were nerve wracking and intense with us missing some great chances and the ref adding on a random 10 minutes before sending the arch hooligans and Ben the Pro to watch from behind the fence. Eventually the final whistle was blew and we booked our spot in the final against our local rivals from up the bank. Catmeat asked the ref if he knew any leprechauns and the ref got angry and shouted. Duffy 2 (the one with the attitude) didn’t come back to the arch, instead he went dogging on South Shields beach. Joe Gill is brill and Bott went to fix a leaky roof in Sunderland. A special thanks to Bott who put his hand up to take and wash the strips as Pees mam has a bad ankle off teaching Liam Jägermiester how to win a 50-50. In the midst of all the excitement catmeat forgot to take any photographs today. Thursday we return to blacky mill where we face them in the league. All the above stories are true. #UTA
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