East Stanley WMC VsOxhill Central FC (League)
Cheaters do prosper
It’s been a long, wet 3 weeks in what seems like an eternity since our last outing against The Top Club. A lot has happened in this time off, with our game against the newly formed Catchgate been suspended for no changing rooms then called off for a water logged. Little Luke has became a father to the Arches newest little legged fan. While we had no game we all went out to “wet the babies head” but #WostBoakes couldn’t understand why the baby wasn’t at the pub. Knee Slide Az has taken a break from Sunday League to concentrate on looking after Kevin and Katie the carrots. Finally, the trip for our 2020 EuroTour has been confirmed in Belfast Ireland and already some deposits have been paid. Back to today where we faced East Stanley Club who were back fighting strong in the first division after folding just 2 seasons ago. The squad was getting back to strength with just a few missing, Gateshead Dann from Dipton was at the Lakes catching naughty dog walkers, Gateshead Scott from Ouston had travelled to Asia in an attempt to locate Sheep who was still missing after been caught in the Tycoon and Andy the 80s pop star was under the influence of alcohol AGAIN. Bezzy was finally declared fit after his 8 week break with pigeon foot, Little Luke returned from parenting duties and Fisher returned from his horse riding lessons. The morning was as unorganised as ever with the turning up anywhere from as early as 9:20 and as late as 10:10 and a fuss of phoning and txting players to make sure they’re up and on their way! Elvis then decided that Buttercup Monkley was starting in goal even though The Monk was available and Buttercup Monkley wasn’t ! Veteran Gav turned up like a new man in his all new Nike tracksuit. The match kicked off and we headed into an early lead with a well worked goal finished off by Little Luke. East Stanley worked a reply before Veteran Gav rose above the keeper to put us 2-1 up before the break. Donna Pearce watched from The Arch sideline as he was in his monthly huff and Liam Jägermiester Davison tripped over the new “fashion” of elastic bands his boots which he stole from the post office. After halftime Fisher came off with a bad hoof and we quickly shipped two goals to be trailing 3-2 after we lost concentration down to a decision that didn’t go our way. We battled and grafted but couldn’t seem to churn out the equaliser we deserved despite been given a penalty in the dying seconds of the game for a deliberate hand ball on the line. After the game Little Luke told the ref he needed to lay off the Sunday dinners, Elvis revealed his “Singe’s weekly kitchen treat” of spiced chilli pea nuts and a bottle of Toni and Guy sea salt spray and Wrighty won the meat draw. Next week we are away to The Barn in the 1/4 finals of the Harness Trophy where it’s the turn of Bott to bring Singe’s weekly kitchen treat.
All the above stories are true.
#UTA
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