Chester Le St Garden Farm v Oxhill Central (County Cup 3rdpreliminary round )
Classic pranks and bananas
We were back in proper footballing action this week and away to The Garden Farm in the County Cup. This is the side we beat last year on our way to the ¼ final of the North West Durham Cup on penalties on what was one of the coldest day’s at football ever. To match this cold day, it was flipping freezing at out 9.30am meeting point of The Arch Car Park with a biting wind, we also looked suspiciously short of numbers. The management due of JP and Elvis were apparently at a double-glazing seminar, Shola the Engine has had another massive re-lapse on his health and has come down with a bad case of athlete’s foot, earache and a chest infection. Bez and Bonzo Brown are cup tied and Carter was stuck in his hot tub in his mansion with 7 girls and 2 men. We nearly had another injury when Killa tripped up outside the shop at the top of The Moor bank and cut is knee. We did have new signing Bott in our squad, Bott looks like a ‘buff’ version of Joe Gill is brill. Joe Gill is brill was missing, he’s away on holiday, not sure if you’s all know this? He’s away in Majorca on holiday and he’s plastered 400 photographs all over his Facebook page. Everyone can see these, well everyone can apart from his 3 ex-best friends that are in the team who he won’t accept friends’ requests from.! Everyone knew what kind of prankful day it was going to be when Little Luke threw a banana out of his car window and hit a passing car. Little Luke then announced he’d had a full night’s sleep, a plate of scrambled eggs, 6 bananas’, a can of Red Bull, a bottle of Lucozade and some slow energy release bars and he was ‘proper up’ for some classic pranks’. It had all the makings of an eventful morning. Joe Palmer the celebrity fan still looked drunk after a night out drinking Turpentine in The Clock with Super Wayne Chapman and his brother and Chewy’s chancers Stanley’s best dressed man was last seen going into The Local Spa with a Chinese takeaway whilst wearing his Arch rain jacket. Anyway, we made our way down to the plastic pitch behind Durham Cricket Ground and found the weather was much warmer down here it was positively tropical as we watched the game in the Autumn sunshine. Gav ate a box of ‘finest quality chicken bites’. These were average in taste and texture a disappointing 5 out of 10. The Mad Monk didn’t wear his technicolour goalkeeping kit of blue boots, orange socks, green shorts and red keeper top, this week he wore 17 layers of bright yellow clothes and looked like a giant banana Monk. He got angry about 23 times today and Cat Meat abused an old woman who was watching the match. Half time came and we were 3.0 after a poor performance then Andy Clark the 80’s pop star turned up at 11am and was clearly still drunk from the night before. Our answer to this was to put a strip on him and stick him straight into the game as a halftime substitute, he fell over 3 times in the first 6 minutes. Not sure if this gave us a kick up the backside but in the 2ndhalf we got stuck in and pulled a couple of goals back from Scott Bin Lid and Bott and nade a game of it. Then the wheels fell of where we conceded another goal had 14 players booked a dozen sent off and Buttercup Monkley and Bin Lid picked up an injury each. The match finished with a 4.2 defeat and Little Luke said he’s never been as disappointed in all his life for how he felt today towards Donna Pearce the strip thief. Little Luke then said he couldn’t tell the difference between cows and sheep. We went back to the Garden Farm pub for prawn sandwiches, pork pies and a pint before heading back to The Arch where Pee won the domino card for the 17th time this October. It was at this point of the day when Little Luke stole Kitten Belly Greg’s glasses and I went home to avoid anymore tomfoolery and classic pranks.
Some of the above are true made up stories.
--
Regards
Singe
www.singevert.vpweb.co.uk
Chester Le St Garden Farm v Oxhill Central (County Cup 3rdpreliminary round )
Classic pranks and bananas
We were back in proper footballing action this week and away to The Garden Farm in the County Cup. This is the side we beat last year on our way to the ¼ final of the North West Durham Cup on penalties on what was one of the coldest day’s at football ever. To match this cold day, it was flipping freezing at out 9.30am meeting point of The Arch Car Park with a biting wind, we also looked suspiciously short of numbers. The management due of JP and Elvis were apparently at a double-glazing seminar, Shola the Engine has had another massive re-lapse on his health and has come down with a bad case of athlete’s foot, earache and a chest infection. Bez and Bonzo Brown are cup tied and Carter was stuck in his hot tub in his mansion with 7 girls and 2 men. We nearly had another injury when Killa tripped up outside the shop at the top of The Moor bank and cut is knee. We did have new signing Bott in our squad, Bott looks like a ‘buff’ version of Joe Gill is brill. Joe Gill is brill was missing, he’s away on holiday, not sure if you’s all know this? He’s away in Majorca on holiday and he’s plastered 400 photographs all over his Facebook page. Everyone can see these, well everyone can apart from his 3 ex-best friends that are in the team who he won’t accept friends’ requests from.! Everyone knew what kind of prankful day it was going to be when Little Luke threw a banana out of his car window and hit a passing car. Little Luke then announced he’d had a full night’s sleep, a plate of scrambled eggs, 6 bananas’, a can of Red Bull, a bottle of Lucozade and some slow energy release bars and he was ‘proper up’ for some classic pranks’. It had all the makings of an eventful morning. Joe Palmer the celebrity fan still looked drunk after a night out drinking Turpentine in The Clock with Super Wayne Chapman and his brother and Chewy’s chancers Stanley’s best dressed man was last seen going into The Local Spa with a Chinese takeaway whilst wearing his Arch rain jacket. Anyway, we made our way down to the plastic pitch behind Durham Cricket Ground and found the weather was much warmer down here it was positively tropical as we watched the game in the Autumn sunshine. Gav ate a box of ‘finest quality chicken bites’. These were average in taste and texture a disappointing 5 out of 10. The Mad Monk didn’t wear his technicolour goalkeeping kit of blue boots, orange socks, green shorts and red keeper top, this week he wore 17 layers of bright yellow clothes and looked like a giant banana Monk. He got angry about 23 times today and Cat Meat abused an old woman who was watching the match. Half time came and we were 3.0 after a poor performance then Andy Clark the 80’s pop star turned up at 11am and was clearly still drunk from the night before. Our answer to this was to put a strip on him and stick him straight into the game as a halftime substitute, he fell over 3 times in the first 6 minutes. Not sure if this gave us a kick up the backside but in the 2ndhalf we got stuck in and pulled a couple of goals back from Scott Bin Lid and Bott and nade a game of it. Then the wheels fell of where we conceded another goal had 14 players booked a dozen sent off and Buttercup Monkley and Bin Lid picked up an injury each. The match finished with a 4.2 defeat and Little Luke said he’s never been as disappointed in all his life for how he felt today towards Donna Pearce the strip thief. Little Luke then said he couldn’t tell the difference between cows and sheep. We went back to the Garden Farm pub for prawn sandwiches, pork pies and a pint before heading back to The Arch where Pee won the domino card for the 17th time this October. It was at this point of the day when Little Luke stole Kitten Belly Greg’s glasses and I went home to avoid anymore tomfoolery and classic pranks.
Some of the above are true made up stories.
--
Regards
Singe
www.singevert.vpweb.co.uk
Chester Le St Garden Farm v Oxhill Central (County Cup 3rdpreliminary round )
Classic pranks and bananas
We were back in proper footballing action this week and away to The Garden Farm in the County Cup. This is the side we beat last year on our way to the ¼ final of the North West Durham Cup on penalties on what was one of the coldest day’s at football ever. To match this cold day, it was flipping freezing at out 9.30am meeting point of The Arch Car Park with a biting wind, we also looked suspiciously short of numbers. The management due of JP and Elvis were apparently at a double-glazing seminar, Shola the Engine has had another massive re-lapse on his health and has come down with a bad case of athlete’s foot, earache and a chest infection. Bez and Bonzo Brown are cup tied and Carter was stuck in his hot tub in his mansion with 7 girls and 2 men. We nearly had another injury when Killa tripped up outside the shop at the top of The Moor bank and cut is knee. We did have new signing Bott in our squad, Bott looks like a ‘buff’ version of Joe Gill is brill. Joe Gill is brill was missing, he’s away on holiday, not sure if you’s all know this? He’s away in Majorca on holiday and he’s plastered 400 photographs all over his Facebook page. Everyone can see these, well everyone can apart from his 3 ex-best friends that are in the team who he won’t accept friends’ requests from.! Everyone knew what kind of prankful day it was going to be when Little Luke threw a banana out of his car window and hit a passing car. Little Luke then announced he’d had a full night’s sleep, a plate of scrambled eggs, 6 bananas’, a can of Red Bull, a bottle of Lucozade and some slow energy release bars and he was ‘proper up’ for some classic pranks’. It had all the makings of an eventful morning. Joe Palmer the celebrity fan still looked drunk after a night out drinking Turpentine in The Clock with Super Wayne Chapman and his brother and Chewy’s chancers Stanley’s best dressed man was last seen going into The Local Spa with a Chinese takeaway whilst wearing his Arch rain jacket. Anyway, we made our way down to the plastic pitch behind Durham Cricket Ground and found the weather was much warmer down here it was positively tropical as we watched the game in the Autumn sunshine. Gav ate a box of ‘finest quality chicken bites’. These were average in taste and texture a disappointing 5 out of 10. The Mad Monk didn’t wear his technicolour goalkeeping kit of blue boots, orange socks, green shorts and red keeper top, this week he wore 17 layers of bright yellow clothes and looked like a giant banana Monk. He got angry about 23 times today and Cat Meat abused an old woman who was watching the match. Half time came and we were 3.0 after a poor performance then Andy Clark the 80’s pop star turned up at 11am and was clearly still drunk from the night before. Our answer to this was to put a strip on him and stick him straight into the game as a halftime substitute, he fell over 3 times in the first 6 minutes. Not sure if this gave us a kick up the backside but in the 2ndhalf we got stuck in and pulled a couple of goals back from Scott Bin Lid and Bott and nade a game of it. Then the wheels fell of where we conceded another goal had 14 players booked a dozen sent off and Buttercup Monkley and Bin Lid picked up an injury each. The match finished with a 4.2 defeat and Little Luke said he’s never been as disappointed in all his life for how he felt today towards Donna Pearce the strip thief. Little Luke then said he couldn’t tell the difference between cows and sheep. We went back to the Garden Farm pub for prawn sandwiches, pork pies and a pint before heading back to The Arch where Pee won the domino card for the 17th time this October. It was at this point of the day when Little Luke stole Kitten Belly Greg’s glasses and I went home to avoid anymore tomfoolery and classic pranks.
Some of the above are true made up stories.
--
Regards
Singe
www.singevert.vpweb.co.uk
