Catchgate Community FC Vs Oxhill Central FC (Cup)
Goals Galore
Today we were away to Catchgate Community down at Oakies field in the first round of the Consett Charity Cup. Elvis had been up since 6am reading the league handbook so we knew the rules of the game was drawn after 90mins, this is after Catchgate beat The Punch Bowl on penalty’s last week only to find out it was a 2 legged competition and they had only played the first leg. Another person who had been up early was the Monk who forgot that the clocks went back and was in the carpark an hour early. The early news from the week was that Broccoli Head Matty was to make his first appearance of the season and Gateshead Dan from Dipton had caught all the naughty dog walkers and was also available and of course Elvis told everyone “Dans Back.” Veteran Gav also returned with news that he is ready to take on anyone in a conker competition, apparently Gav went through his whole schooling life unbeaten at conkers and once won a conker competition down Blackpool. Missing this week was Sheep had travelled back to the Middle East to try and find Gateshead Scott from Ouston who had originally went to find the missing Sheep but has now gone missing himself. Little Luke was a no show, Fisher was at the Halloween party for jockeys and 80s Pop Star Clarkey also missed, I’m sure you can all guess why! In the changing rooms Dangerous Davies told Safety Davies we’re playing on chicken pakora park, Veteran Gav wore his old school PE shorts and we talked about The Arch team in ten years time which would still include Crabstick Cox. The game kicked off and we took the lead after 8 minutes with a header from Bott, this caused manager Pounder to tell Jägermiester Liam he had to keep putting it in the bott. We then got another through Kei before a quick reply from Catchgate seen the score at 2-1 after 30 mins. This caused The Arch to click into gear and we raced into half time 5-1 up after another 3 goals from the on fire Kei. Just before half time The Monk has to come off because his clocks hadn’t been put back and he still had to be home for 12, up stepped Joe Gill is Brill to cover in the sticks. Veteran Gav also had to come off at half time after he realised he put the bread in the fridge this morning and had to ring his lass to get it out. The second half was much of the same with lots of goals from The Arch and not a lot in return from Catchgate. Another goal from Kei, 3 from Gateshead Dan from Dipton, 2 each for Dangerous Davies and Veteran Gav and a goal from Broccoli head Matty seen the game end in a thumping 14-1 victory, fair play to Catchgate who gave their all until the full time whistle. It also has to be highlighted stand in keeper Joe Gill is Brill stood you to his name pulled off save of the season to keep Catchgate to just 1 goal. Back at The Arch, Chewys Chancers Stanley’s best dressed man said he’s considering coming out of retirement as cover for The Monk, PeeDog said he has adopted Nobby as his bonus ball apprentice and made Liam cry and Shola the Engine won the meat draw. Next week we are away in the league to Tantobie Oak Tree.
All the above stories are true.
#UTA
Sent from my iPhone
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