Blackhall Mill vs Oxhill Central (league) 70s, 80s, 90s and Now
Thursday night CatMeat, Dangerous Davies and Singe went to league meeting where nobby didn’t attended because he was at after school detention. We found out Tank Watsons transfer to the Earl Grey has fell through beucase he owes a £200 chucky bill and crazy Sharron from the Bird was on a thirsty Thursday. We were also given a piece of paper with all our players names and dates of birth on and found out we have players from 1970s, 1980s, 1990s and 2000s. Today we were away down the Woody and blustery parts of Chopwell where we faced last seasons league winners Blacky Mill. The injury list was a lengthy one with Gateshead Scott from Ouston, Bezzy and Liam Jagermiester all nursing bad ankles, Bonzo Brown still at anger management classes, and Fisher was just missing. CrabSick Cox and KneeSlide Az were also carrying knocks but managed to still make the bench. Even some of the management committee were missing with Elvis looking for some more special blue ocean spray in Majorca, Ex Manager Jeff was grounded after he spent all the shopping money on Joe Gill is Brills not so brill horse racing tip and Singe was still stoned off the mad Monks doobie. Duffy1 gave Pounder some “smiley pills” to help him think wile he picked the team, Little Luke thought the Bunton the Irish ref was Scottish. Joe Gill is brill wore 2 pairs of socks because his feet were cold and PeeDog gave rival keeper Freddy a pair of socks because he said ours looked fluffy. All this sock business meant we had none left for Gateshead Dan from Dipton who had to play the game wearing no socks. PeeDog got the important job of monitoring Little Luke’s phone for “baby watch” incase his lass went into labour, PeeDog said if Luke was trough one in one he would just ignore the phone call. CatMeat brung some burger crisps for Singe but greedy Noddy and Duffy1 ate them all. Pounder told us how he watched Kill Bill last night and learned to speak Japanese. In the match we went 1-0 down quite early with a reply from Kei direct from a corner. Another goal seen us 2-1 down followed by a Dangerous Davies missed a pen just before half time which could have put us back level. Duffy1 said if Joe Gill is brill was a pirate he’d be called Joseph mcgilligan and Liam Jagermiester turned up with red paint on his ankle to try and make his injury look real. After the break we never got going and seen the deficit increase to 3-1 then 4-1 Veteran Gav gave us some hope but some great goal keeping by the blacky mill keeper stopped us from closing the gap further. The game finally ended 5-3. Ben SeeNowt told us how he’d slept on the floor at a prostitutes house, he then told us that beanstalk Ben is taller and skinnier then east Stanley’s Flag Pole and thinks we should call him The Arches Scaffold pole. After the game CatMeat, Kei, Sheep, Donnelley the south moor Messi and Cox mixed with the enemy and went for hotdogs and chilli at the black hall club. In The Arch we had a game of guess the date of birth and no one could believe how young the Mad Monk actually is and Sheep won the domino card which he paid his stacking up yellow card bill with. We all checked out South Moor Messi’s Mam on Facebook Little Luke said she loves the meat, but Donnelley insisted it was his girlfriend that loves that. South moor Messi then remembered he had Singe’s weekly breakfast treat where he had fetched him a cool little bottle of margarita. All the above stories are true #UTA
Sent from my iPhone
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