Oxhill Central FC vs Ryhope CW (County Cup) Teabags County cup day. Everyone’s favourite Sunday fixture. We were at to Ryhope CW from Sunderland who travelled up in a state of the art 49 seater gold plated bus. In the county cup excitement some of the players even arrived before the 930 meet time ! Donnelly the South Moor Messi couldn’t beat his all time record of attending more than 2 games in a row. Bonzo Brown was injured off his tenting experience with Gateshead Dan from Dipton. Bezzy missed Knee Slide Az so much last week that he decided he would still spend his Sunday morning with him in the house instead of playing while Gateshead Scott from Ouston was having a morning at work and Sensible Cap Josh returned to army duties. Thankfully we still managed to formulate a team with 4 on the bench as Gateshead Dan from Dipton made his first appearance of the season. Veteran Gav said he didn’t have a spare top to wear over his strip on the bench so went to turn it inside out only to realise he had a spare top underneath. The ref turned out in a bright yellow refereeing top and became the first ref we’ve ever had to wear a different colour top, little Luke said he looked like a giant flower. Ryhope warmed up in their training tops with their cones and mini goals before going to get changed into their playing kits. PeeDog and Sheep gave each other a cuddle and got pigeon poo on each other, they then both blamed each other for having the poo originally, Sheep is always involved in some sort of poo incident. The match kicked off and we were 2-0 down within 10 minutes after a counter attacking goal and a penalty conceded by the mad Monk. We pulled one back quite quickly with Gateshead Dan from Dipton rounding the keeper after a great pass from Fisher but then the bright glare from the refs top got into his eyes and he missed a blatant off side to allow Ryhope to go 3-1 up before the break, this caused Joe Gill is Brill to have a melt down and get sent to the Sin-Bin. Shola the engine and Macca the Chef made a surprise appearance to watch us with a breakfast each cooked by Macca the Chef himself. The second half started as bad as the first with a thumping volley from Ryhopes centre mid flying in to make it 4-1. a reply from Dangerous Davies after good work from Veteran Gav and Gateshead Dan from Dipton made it 4-2 and gave us a glimmer of hope that we might finally turn up. CatMeat made told little Luke to say sorry for kicking their player and Dangerous Davies got fouled 15 times and still didn’t get a free kick. More errors form The Arch and poor decisions from the ref seen the game finish 6-2 and we crashed out the county cup in the preliminary rounds. Ben Seenowt said the ref seen nowt all game and manager pounder said a teabag can stay on the cup longer than us. On a brighter note Crabsticks Cox didn’t wear his own shorts this week so it’s thought he has got rid of his crabs and beanstalk Ben can now take throw ins properly. Donnelly the South Moor Messi had passed his duties of bringing Singes weekly Kitchen cupboard surprise to Kei who fetched along a twirl, a mr Kipling bar and an instant hot chocolate, PeeDog said keis kitchen cupboards must be mint. Back at the club the buss full of Ryhope players and supporters arrived and we indulged in pizza and kebabs supplied from Bahaders Pizzas while ex manager Jeff won the meat draw. Fisher asked one of their players for his autograph because he looked like Edin Dzeko and little Luke annoyed CatMeat all afternoon. Elvis then turned up later than usual and has turned his angry attentions to Shola the Engine and Macca the Chef who left their breakfast mess at the pitch for Elvis to tidy up, when cleaning up the bin bit his thumb and he nearly ended up leaving him with just 3 fingers on his left hand!! Lastly a big thanks Bott who offered to wash the strips this week while PeeDogs mams washing machine gets cleared of little black muga balls. All the above stories are true #UTA
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