Cricketers Ex Jnrs v Oxhill Central (league)
Sindon’s got a gun
We were given a home fixture against the Cricketers but the officials in the league changed it to an away fixture during the week as the ‘stadium needed a game’. A bizarre reason for a fixture reversal if ever I heard one! Anyway, it was another ramshackle morning of organisation when we sat around the Arch Car Park waiting for the players to turn up except half of them had already gone straight up to the Stadium. A late turn up means no warm up, honestly I think some lads just do this to avoid having a warm up. Joe Gill is brill was late, but this had nothing to do with him drinking pina colada’s in the Toon with Bott. Little Luke thought it would be fun to take selfies of himself while he played Charva tunes on his phone powered by a car battery. Elvis said Dangerous Davies needed to play with more ‘width’. Dangerous said he only had a 28” waste but he would try and look fatter. Andy Clark the 80’s pop star drank 6 litres of water before kick-off and Mad Monk yet again played in his woolly ‘Green-Tech’ hat. Just before the game got underway we had a perfectly observed minutes silence for the 3rd anniversary of Dollar’s Tez’s passing and he would have been happy with the way we went about our business in the first half as we played some quality football. Joe Gill is brill missed the first penalty of his life ever but again this wasn’t due to the drink. Shola the engine eventually turned up to watch the game. I couldn’t tell him off for his lateness because he brought me a McDonalds meal. Cat Meat wears more badges and medals on his Arch jacket than a WW2 veteran. The injured Nobby who has been on 2-day bender down Twicey’s allotment shed has a new song which goes like this ‘Sindon’s got a gun, Sindon’s got a gun’. Unfortunately, Joe Gill is brill came off injured, he said this was nothing at all to do with him overindulging in alcohol. Half time we somehow went in 1.0 down and manager JP punched Cat Meat in the face for calling him ‘Puffy Ponder’. Liam Jägermeister wears gloves on his hands with his sleeves of his football shirt rolled up. He does this because he has cold hands and warm arms. Bezz decided this was the look to have and copied off him. Bonzo Brown’s Mam shouts at Bonzo Brown. 10 minutes of the game remaining and we were 3.1 down and heading for another disappointing defeat. However, Fisha continued his purple patch in front of goal and pulled out ‘Sindon’s gun’ from his shorts and got his second of the game this was followed up with strikes from Bott, Gav and Matty and we came out 5.3 winners and move up to 2nd in the table. To celebrate this victory Stonka Brown and Mackem Metty had a Capri Sun party. Back at the club Liam Jägermeister wore a black baseball cap and looked a little bit like Joe Palmer the celebrity fan. Obviously, Sheep thought this looked cool as he copied him and put on his very own baseball cap as well. Euro Tez said he wanted to be called ‘Terry toffee A**E’ from now on and Shola said Formula 1 is loads better than football.
Some of the above are true made up stories.
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Regards
Singe
www.singevert.vpweb.co.uk
