Oxhill Central FC vs The Barn FC (League)
Bank Holiday Bru-Nanza
This week we were scheduled to play our second league game of the season, against The Barn FC. Shola the engine was finally back from his 3 month tour of Asia but has now teamed up with Bonzo Brown to take Gateshead Dan from Dipton on his first ever camping holiday. Knee slide Az had his suspension kick in after his foolishness from the previous game and Sheep declared himself as “unfit” after a day at York races. Bezzy invited everyone for a pre match meal at McDonald’s because his usual breakfast date (knee slide Az) wasn’t attending, meanwhile sensible Cap Josh let slip that he spent his night with Khan from the corner shop. It was a beautiful and warm Sunday morning at Costa Del Stanley but Chewy’s Chancers Stanley’s best dressed man still wore his rain jacket. Ex manager Jeff came dressed as an American soccer coach again and Pee dog came dressed a gay Australian. No one knew the whereabouts of Elvis. Donnelly the South Moor Messi matched his long standing record of attending 2 games in a row! Little Luke fetched along Singe’s weekly breakfast treat of a dust mask, he said he never realised it had to be something he could eat. We headed out for our warm up where manager Pounder had us play shirts vs skins. Talking about skins the monk has to play the full game in skins because his yellow keeper kit clashed with the barns. The game started with a slow tempo and no team really getting a grip on the game, the ref stopped for a “water break” and manager Pounder took the chance to have a team talk, straight after Gateshead Scott from Ouston fired in the opener and put The Arch 1-0 up. Moments later a trip on Gateshead Scott from Ouston in the box seen the ref give a pen and Dangerous Davies stepped up to make it 2-0 before the break. The Barn striker then had a little tantrum and get sent to the SinBin much to the delight of the onlooking Arch fans. Duffy1 came to watch and brung along a bottle of “Bru-Nanza” which he says gives him a good length. The butcher called someone a dizzy bugger and Ex manager Jeff then told us all about his and Disco Dawson’s tag team wrestling on Saturday night, his new nickname will be The Big Show. The second half kicked off as eventful as the first, with chances been few and far between. We eventually found our 3rd through Dangerous Davies before a consolation goal seen the game finish 3-1 with Kei getting MOM. Back at The Arch, Crabsick Coxy told us that he was bullied into getting in a “FTA” video posted online, Elvis said no one had seen him all day because he was in ghost mode. We all then went for a wonder down Stanley in the lovely sunshine. Clarkey the 80s pop star smothered himself in sun cream, Singe, Dangerous Davies and Mackem Metty sat on the floor and listened to Saturday league stories from broccoli Matty. PeeDog watched his new dogs on his mobile CCTV, Elton Chong the rocket man spent the day with with us and Connell bottled it when CatMeat confronted him in the toilets. Next week we are at home in the County Cup where it’s the turn for Donelly the South Moor Messi to bring Singe’s weekly breakfast treat.
All the above stories are true.
#UTA
Sent from my iPhone
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