Consett TopClub vs Oxhill Central (League) Free kick specialists. Today we headed to the heart of Consett to face the TopClub in our final league game of the season. The game didn’t mean a lot in terms of league position as we couldn’t catch TopClub who will finish just above ourselves, but there was plenty to play for as Pounder still ponders his team selection for Friday. The team however was down to the bare bones as Broccoli head Matty was resting his wrists, Clarkey the 80s pop star still had a tight hammy and fisher was away whale watching. We did welcome back Bonzo brown, Bezzy and Gateshead Scott from Ouston all from their duties at work. Elvis was away scouting our oppositions for our EuroTour to Belgium. Catmeat didn’t invite coffee dangerous Davies for a coffee while bonzo brown and bezzy had a breakfast date at McDonald’s. Veteran Gav told everyone outside about how he went to “Examples” gig last night, he then stood outside the changing rooms with his ear on the door trying to work out which one we were in, he still chose the wrong one. Singe made a return to the team as he tried to steak his place for a place in the final team. He then broke the sad news that the arches favourite mascot Eric the Rabbit passed away this morning. Everyone at the arch sends their thoughts to Singe and Nerise. Sheep stunk the changing rooms out with just a pump this week and little Luke tried to pay his yellow card fine twice. We went 1-0 up early doors with a goal from Gateshead dan from Dipton followed by a superb freekick strike by dangerous Davies. The monk got a bust nose so joe Gill is brill wrapped a bandage around it. A man walked past walking 2 dogs and a 6 meter plank of wood. A tap in from veteran Gav put us 3-0 up at half time. Another cracking free kick this time time from Gateshead Scott from Ouston along with a strike just after half time gave us our 4th and 5th. A consolation goal for TopClub seen the game finish 5-1. The question of the game was who scored the best freekick, dangerous Davies or Gateshead Scott from Ouston? Catmeat asked the Ged the ref “how long” and he replied “too long for you to handle”. Little Luke hid everyone’s clothes and lost one of Kies £500 designer trainers. Joe Gill is brill said CatMeat picks on him, attitude Duffy had an attitude and Bonzo brown didn’t understand how a football match is one and a half hours long, he always thought it was 90 minutes.... Finally Singe got a nice run out and I really hope that cheered him up slightly. All the above stories are true. #UTA
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