WENATV: Hello Mr. Wenger
Arsene Wenger: 'Ello
WENATV: So a disappointing result but we do hear that 'Arry Redknapp has decided to celebrate by signing 30 over-priced footballers.
AW: So he signed Garrow then?
WENATV: No, he specifically mentioned 'over-priced footballers'. Garrow was just 'over-priced'
AW: D'accord! So are we still playing?
WENATV: No the game ended.
AW: Zut alors! The referee told me we were playing Fergie time. This is an outrage.
WENATV: So you started with Mullen, Sebastian K, Sandro, Lionel, Mark, Thariq and Mauritius Dave
AW: He's from Mauritius?
WENATV: Yep.
AW: He said he was from the gym.
WENATV: So anyway back to the game.
AW: What game? Oh yes that one, yes it was very bad. We played the good football, had a couple of chances from corners.
WENATV: Yes, Dave leapt like a young salmon but unfortunately couldn't score.
AW: Precisely and I congratulate him for that.
WENATV: Wha?
AW: I believe that scoring from corners is a form of cheating and I told him that if he does score then he wouldn't get his weekly steroid injection.
WENATV: Steroids?
AW: Did I say steroids? I meant vitamins.
WENATV: And some of the team was a little over-excited and regularly went to ground.
AW: Well yes, I hypnotised them to make them think they were younger, I think I did it too well...one person who shall not be named, T, thought he was five apparently he liked playing on slides.
WENATV: And then came a controversial moment in the game.
AW: Yes, we brought on Kingsley and Edwin...oh you mean the penalty? Well I didn't zee the incident, no I didn't zee ze cheating diving spurs player fall to the deck in the penalty area...Scheiße! Sorry I'm from Strasbourg, that slips out from time to time. Uh yes but they scored from the penalty and we went into halftime a goal down. But morally I think we were leading 3-0.
WENATV: Ok.
AW: And so to ze second half and we were on ze front foot. For the record Le Mullen, Le Kettz, Le Sandro, La Thariq, Le David, Le Lionel et Le Mark started the second half.
WENATV: La Thariq?
AW: Oui, he's ze lady with ze black hair n'est pas?
WENATV: Ok so you went close with a couple of chances that fell to Lionel, one hit the post and the other was just tipped away by the keeper.
AW: Ah yes young Lionel Messy, one of my best signings.
WENATV: Lionel Messy?
AW: Yes, I spoke to Pep and he said I could take him for free. I got ze bargain no?
WENATV: No. Anyway then Spurs were reduced to 6-men after one of their players got sent off for two bookable offences.
AW: The whole team should have gone. The ref was very lenient.
WENATV: And your team laid siege to the Spurs goal until...
AW: Until their keeper unleashed an unstoppable shot from his penalty area which was totally unsaveable, Mullens had no chance.
WENATV: That's not the way it...
AW: Silence! He has compromising photos of me in a Spurs kit. And all rumours of me calling him Roy Carroll are completely untrue *snigger*
WENATV: So the Goodfellas slumped to a two-nil defeat anything to add?
AW: I manage the Goodfellas now? Oh yes and for no apparent reason here's a link to a Syd Barrett song!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0igshgcoupg
WENATV: Um thank you Arsene.
AW: Bitte, I mean De Rien
WENATV: This is We Are Not Ashamed TV and we end with news that Aston Villa fans really don't have much to do. Goodbye.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FZnYloe5rhw
