By Spencer Chiu: Dear Fellas, March 27, 2011 - Sunday Happy Valley Pitch 12 - Artificial Turf Cool with patches of rain Detinho and the Citizen Team training on the side - trying to learn some tactics and skills from watching our game. Starting Line up: Playing a 2-3-1 formation Justin Monster Cock in Goal D.Cheung and S.Garrow as the back two T.Bag on the right, Howie in the middle, Spenny on the left Leo up front It was somewhat drizzling and cloudy - we won the coin toss and the opposition kicked off in their orange kits. To make our intentions known, Spenny went in for a solid shoulder to face challenge ( the guy was short ) that saw Spenny land on top of the opponent, muffling out his squealing. With D.Cheung and S. Garrow somewhat solid in the back, the Fellas was passing and dominating play. Perhaps with a bit hesitation of scoring too early and wanting to pass the ball in the net, we had some decent shots (fucking field goals actually) from Leo, D.Cheung and Spenny. Justin the Monster Cock was yelling his lungs out in the back directing play and that was somewhat helpful. Other times when he really raises his voice, he can sound like an eunuch. Our front four were making decent runs with the occasional offsides. Howard making runs on the wing, T-Bag taking corners, and S.Garrow pretending to be Roberto Carlos. The runs were penetrating and the team moved well together, covering each other's position like Barca. Sorry, I meant the over 40s Barclays Capital Investment Bank secretarial amatuer women's soccer team - or Barca for short. We changed the team with Leo going out and Ant. To be fair, we out ran and outclassed our opponents in every aspect and they were tiring out towards the first half, which ended 0-0. In the second half, we kept the same team and then the myriad of substitution took place. We also took advantage of the opponent's shite fitness levels. At different times, in came Leo, James, Vince, Kingsley, and Sandro. Breakthrough came in a flurry of 10 minutes when we moved the ball to Ant, with him crossing the ball to James to finish with a right sidefooted shot. Second goal came with James passing to Ant, and using his huge and probably hairy ass, backed off his defender on the 18 yard box and unleashing a left footed shot that clipped the inside post for a goal. James' pass to Ant looked somewhat fortunate given he had the wrong shoes (again), but somehow, two wrongs make a right. The same slippery shoes helped James chip a pass to Sandro who headed in the third goal to kill off the game for the Fellas. By this time the refs were getting antsy and didn't want the game to be too physical, and with the opponent deciding they all had jello legs, they were falling like dominoes whenever a Fellas touched them. They did have a decent shot from a set play which had Justing making a terrific save, almost hitting his head on the post (actually, maybe banging his skull on the post can restore some sanity in him?). We could have made it to 4 goals, but Leo was pulled / tackled from behind after making a breaking run, one of the refs pulled out a red card, but the other ref decided a yellow was more appropriate. Guess if Leo had a bit more pace, that snail of a defender couldn't trip Leo if he wanted to. By this time, when the opponent had the rare chance of being in our penalty box, their teammates on the side was yelling on top of their lungs, "Hey! Fall over! Dive! Dive now! Fall noooowwwwww!". The refs had to threaten these bunch of pansies with a yellow card for their unsportsmanship behavior. In the end, we had T-Bag and Spenny as the back two, and everyone else playing out of position. To end the match, D. Cheung steamrolled over a guy, T-Bag sneaking in some slide tackles, Vince butt-fucking an opponent into submssion and Spenny taking out two guys at the same time on 50-50 challenges. So all ended well, with goals and physical dominance. So good game, we had fun, 3-0. We need to shoot more, so hold off on calling for the ball all the time - tell your teammates to shoot when you see a chance. Don't scream his name, just say "Shoooooot!" Ended the day with a good Vietnamese lunch near Times Square. Later, Spencer
