It’s the longest running match up in sports entertainment, or sportstertainment, history… yet again it’s the Mighty Vale versus Bewdley Bailiffs. The Vale are six from six and the Bewdley boys are looking at a big fat zero. Can history repeat itself again or can the home team finally overcome the bogey that is the Vale…
Off kicks the match to it’s usual good hearted, friendly affair, until Laan had a brush up with titch at the back, kicked him up in the air and won a free kick. “How could that have been that way ref, he’s too small to pull himself off”. Not content with losing that battle, Titch proceeded to fiddle with Honest Paul, Laan’s fifteenth strike partner of the season, provoking remarks of “its like a spitfire attacking a Wellington bomber” from an historically challenged Flopsy. 10 minutes came and went and then the impossible happened, the Vale conceded. An attack down the left brought a cross over, Dan and the striker attempted to intercept and a skimming ball over them was met by the Runt at the back post, Flopsy with finger up arse (possibly the cause of his current injury) stood watching. 1-0.
The lads woke up and with some lively football, punctuated by some Laan classics, got back into the match. A cross met on the volley hit the changing rooms, dropped into the stream and floated off downstream, eventually after several days travel ending up in the ocean. Now that’s a miss. The ball was stroked around and the lads found there voices, with a few “to me” “down there” and “ooooh baby”s. Then bugger me if they don’t get a second. The ball was crossed over during a quick attack and a first time volley sees the ball fly past Andy. Cracking strike, shame it was for them. 2-0.
An uncharacteristic attack by the Vale ended in a free kick. Up stepped self proclaimed hero Brew some twenty four yards out. Paul stood right in the wall drawing calls of obstruction… “I’ll stand where I like ref” and with a Beyonce style arse wiggle into the Bailiff masonry the ref was hardly going to argue. Brew kicked the ball, a good old whack and the strike was top corner all the way until Paul’s humungous bonce got in the way to deflect it over.
Half time came and went with general positive vibes, then followed a few tentative moments in defense, Flopsy throwing in to Andy who decided to throw in a few keepy ups following a poor first touch, before tapping to Dan to clear with his standing foot. Camo spooned a terrible ball back to Andy, but luckily everyone, including the ref and two of the Bailiff players, told him he could pick it up.
With ten minutes to go the Bailiffs broke through again and was slipped past Andy for the third.
Brew tried his best to save some face with a patented sit down shot going slightly wrong, but alas to no avail. Rich was brought on towards the end, arms flailing. The ref blew up and the lads trudged to the pub. After a couple of terrible weeks the lads had finally started to play and talk to each other… was this to be a sign of things to come? Well… hopefully not, we don’t want to get stuffed every week do we?
All thats left is the inevitable goalkeepers man of the match, despite letting in three goals, and four people getting nines, despite losing heavily... what is going on with these scores?
Nibbler.
