GUEST AUTHOR: LAAN DAVID.
"Revenge - A Dish Best Served Cold" was the Headline for this encounter, which saw the mighty vale meet Tribe Reserves for the second time this season so far, with the first meeting resulting in a 6 - 0 drubbing against the Vale.
Well cold it was, and after some numb fingers putting the nets up, the Vale went to get changed.
Silk, after a few too many Babycham’s the night before, turned up looking 100% match fit, sorry, I meant 100% proof! No change there then!
Andy Logan reeled off the team to face the Tribe, while his inner thoughts echoed "Wembley, Wembley, Wembley!"
Goalie - Matt "Tude Juan Clean Sheet" Ormerod
Defence - Will "3 sheets to the wind" Silk, Matt "Huffle Puff Sugar Puff Chuff" Thomas, Aaron "Big Az" Roberts, Dave "Shaggy" Handley
Midfield - Chris "Pirate" Allen, Matt "oh my ankle hurts mommy" Simpson, Craig "looking mean" Bridgewater, Luke "will skin any fat defender" Bridgewater
Forwards - Laan "Too much Hype" David, Guy "Too much Cock" Davies
Subs - James "Can't cook won't" Cook, James "looks young, is young!" Handy, Andy "The crystal from Bristol" Jakeman
The ref was all set to kick off, when he noticed Tude trying to mark out a Ouija board in the 18 yard box while saying some black magic words, a technique he learnt over the past few weeks in the darkest depths of the rifle range, which would help him combat penalties and lobs during a game! The ref was quick to point out that it a bookable offence, but as he was in a good mood, he let him off.
So the game kicked off, and the Vale were pilling the pressure on.Tribe Sports had the fantastic defensive tactic of letting Gaylo take all the shots he wanted, knowing no danger there then!
After a blatant corner was given to us, their team captain went “John McEnroe” screaming in the refs face “Are you having an effin jeffin laugh ref, that was never a corner” etc etc! (Toned down for the kids!)
I personally thought he was joking and not acting seriously, but after being calmed down by his teammates and the foam at the corner of his mouth was wiped away, I knew he was seriously an idiot!
We should have been about 3 or 4 up by now, and another corner was awarded after good work down the flanks by pirate. Over came the cross, and Silk jumped into one of their players who then turned the ball into his own net with his back.
OWN GOAL, 1 – 0, hoorah! (But Silk may have claimed the goal by now!)
Big Az slid in with his 14ft leg and upended their winger in the box, penalty, oh dear!
McEnroe steps up looking our goalie in the eyes! Tude never loses his gaze for a minute. You could tell this would all be decided in their minds. Tude’s black magic tactics verses McEnroe’s scrunched up face. The Tribesman ran up to the ball, Ka-Blam, Tude never moved, the ball sailed wide! You cannot be serious!
Not much more to mention in the 1st half really. Everyone was playing well, talking, moving, passing etc, Tude made a spectacular save using his fist, and Pirate had a kick in the balls! After a quick one-two count, he decided he would carry on playing, no treatment needed as he did not want the swelling to go down!
After an inspirational half time talk from the manager, Tribe Sports were ready to kick off the 2nd half.
They threw everything at us in the 2nd half, and eventually we conceded to a Paul “Thompson” Thomas special. His “Grinch” smile from the sideline was duly noted when the ball sailed over Tude’s flailing arms in to the back of the net. Obviously all of his black magic was used up to ward of the nasty penalty sprits!
1 – 1
Cookie came on for quick run around then was hacked down by stupid tackle by the centre half. Cookie then went back off, unable to carry on! His ankle is actually now in a cast, so I'm sure we all hope he is back match fit ASAP.
Gaylo had to go off with a bad back. Silk was concerned that Gaylo may have hurt his bum!
With about 5 minutes left to play, Simmo asked the ref if we could toss a coin to decide the match rather than play the extra 30 mins? The ref would have agreed except Mr Pickering had already nicked his coin and spent it on a can of tenants super!
So James Handy (Super sub) decided to win the ball from their centre half on the edge of their box after a long clearance, and belted it past the Tribes Goalie.
2 – 1
Last 16 here we come!
Vale almost made it 3 at the end, but the win was deserved.
Keep an eye on Sky Sports News HD for the draw for the next round!
*Quote of the season from Handley as the ball was on its way into the top corner of our net to make it 1-1...... "It's a runner!"
