Good morning sports fans, and what a show we have to day as the Vale travel for the second time this season to visit the Sleeping Rabbits of Stourbridge, but today is special, we don’t want to tease ya, but who’s got Cup fever!
Yes you’ve guessed, top of division 5 host bottom but one of division 5, and if it was in the league you’d be lumping those magic beans on the rabbits, but not today, odds have tumbled, raced back up, twisted, inverted, flipped dimensions and ended up at evens. Its toight like a tiger, and its anyones game, and there’s always the the magic of the Roy Marchant Kidderminster and District Division 5 Hospital Minor Cup 2006-07 season.
The Vale set off in convey from their secret HQ the Valecave, situated beneath their fabled holy ground The Shire, in convoy. Ginge at the head decided to test his teams abilities to follow instructions “Follow me” and after hitting Shoppymart for a quick nana shop the convoy duly (don’t call me Julie) obliged and followed the Beemer up and down isle and through the checkout, and with the boot full of a season’s supply its off to the foothills of Stourbridge.
On the back of the Vale’s first ever mid season piss up attended by Vale stars past and present, not exactly a black tie affair but plenty of frivovit….farvitie….frivoluvon….nope, Laan couldn’t say on Friday either, and a punch up to boot (Laan and Sugar Paul Imre kissed, licked, cuddled and fondled each other and are now best friends and lovers) who would blame the Vale not to go out with their tails pointing skywards like a honeymooners cock. Team news, Honest Paul replaces Andy between the pegs, soiled at the back with Smudge, Brewski, Geri and Chuffere, Rupert is still driving aimlessly around Stourbridge after dropping his phone down the bog so its last season centre midfield pairing of Dan and Matt, and the average age of the side has plummeted with the inclusion of the three amigos, Shane, Chris and J cloth. Float and sting Imre is holding up the left wing and predictably Laan goes up front. J and Rich on the bench, strong like bull.
The Rabbits look unchanged from last time, but I’m not sure, I think they need some fresh straw in their hutch, and their floppy ears washed. Some of those little round shits are suck to their shirts…..very unhygienic.
As the game kicked off the a Al Queida terror attack was launched on the allotments next to the ground, concerns over a dirty bomb were quashed as Geri put his hand up and blamed last nights ruby, and as the smoke drifted across the pitch like a scene from Apocalypse Now, or as Laan stated “Oh, its just like Mary Poppins before Dick sings Chim Chimeney, ducky, I’ve just come over a little queer. Oooooo, saucy boy, I’m a little teapot, short and stout, here’s my handle and here’s my spout ooops, its gone off again”
The Vale look solid, SR obviously had a blinder last time (Vale lost 9-2…Ed.) as the boys match them in every department except foul and abusive language directed at the referee, as the ref gave the Vale a free kick for foul and abusive language. Brew swept the ball past the back post, Laan’s up for the header back across the box, rat boy can’t capitalise.
Then the rabbits score.
Chuff and Geri at fullbacks provide composure and attacking flair, demonstrated ably by Geri dancing down the line, ball into Laan, cushioned header to self and pingy toe poke into goal. Its 1-1, and its game on.
Chuff wants in, and as Dan makes his once a season darting run Chuff knocks a random pass destined for a Rabbit throw in. Unhappy with this, his lips move as he mutters his latest incantation, there’s a pop as the ball vanishes, and then reappears matching Danbo’s speed (or lack of) just to his left, he glances down and unleashes a thunderbolt straight into the keepers chest. Come on the Vale.
ALERT, ALERT, REMAINDER OF MATCH REPORT IN NEWS ITEM
