Howdy doody dandy Andy Pandy and all you interweb sports fans on this balmy October morn, and welcome to the Mighty Vale Bowl for today’s feature headline top of the bill match up brought to you by your favourite brown chewing gum “Buttwedge Gum – its stinks like shit but chewy….like shit”
And what a game, is the Mightiest Mighty Vale, 1 from 7 and languishing in last but one with 2 debuts and everyone out of position, vs the visitors The Rock Spots, flying high, rocking on. It’s a no brainer, lump your bread on the Spots, with a double on them hitting new heights and grabbing 6.
So to the teams – Rock Spots, who knows, who cares.
The Mightiness of Mighty Vale of Valeshire, many many not here so Paul keeps his place up front, Laan dropping to centre half with Smudge, Dan moves up alongside Roo, flanked by Chris and debutanteta tant tat ant address unknown…Jay cloth, full backs Geri and Chouffere, continental flair without much hair, and topping the Christmas tree is Bowling Shane. Flopsy misses due a problem finger, ie. Its stuck up his own arse but who cares anyway cause he’s gotta fight to get back in this squad god dammit. Brew, Sharmy and the Imre Bros no shows, Matt, Ringo and Tim injured. Wow…there really is strength and depth in the squad for the one Sunday when there’s no injuries, no holidays, no binge drinking, no lost telephones, all supported real footaball teams have played on a Saturday…and if the weather remains above 10 deg.C. Well done Gingere.
And its off, and its good, Laan switches immediately into the role of Vale centre half my throwing a few air clearances in but with the Speedy Squirrel frantically gathering nuts ready for the winter months alongside and calmness personified in Chuff and Geri either side things are looking rock solid at the back, albeit a bit spotty. Shane looked keen and sharp, I call that karp, and Jay and Chris showed promise of things to come, ie. 30 goals a season a piece and buying all the beers after every game.
Due to the loss of all match notes it has to be said that this is the end of the match report. However please add comments to the message board and these will be duly added to said report, ie. This that is currently being written nay typed using a computer interface finger device aka keyboard.
Ahaa….first message in from Paul T….
“In the middle of the second half, Dan, fair play to him, nice chap, picks up the ball with a stout goat kick stylee tackle, shimmies, and threads the god damn smallest Borrower’s needle to put me through. I got my legs a running, slow at first, then faster, gathering speed, that’s acceleration Holmes, steadied myself then blasted the ball over the bar.”
Honest Paul comes good again. He’s my special little guy.
And here’s another…
“They scored a goal. I can’t remember it, I think I was on the other side of the pitch, but I’d like to formally accept responsibility and therefore thus and twas apologise unreservedly for it being my fault. Sorry, sorry, and thrice sorry. No really I’m sorry.”
That contribution from Smudge. I know it wasn’t his fault but he’s cut.
Bring bring…its Gingere on the phone….
“Remember Dan getting cramp and skipping along like he’d had his pubes waxed whilst running across a carpet of bees HAhsahahs hah”
Result: Vale 0 – 1 Rock Spots.
Nice bunch. Should have won it though.
