Despite the large scoreline, LMB were put under the cosh for the first half against an improved Lincolnshire Poacher (mainly due to the fact that they had a goalkeeper this time), and even went behind inside the first 5 minutes after some lackadaisical defending. Eventually the LMB machine got going and Brett slotted away the first, before Rowan finished off a move with an interesting looping slow-motion finish off the keeper’s legs. After another brief flash of silky passing, Crozier added the third, and although the Poacher briefly levelled the score at 3-3, it took 5 minutes of inspired finishing from Man of the Match Toobs to put the game beyond them, peppering the goal from long range with some cruise missiles to give the mighty LMB a 5-3 lead, before a one-two between Neil and Patto allowed Tayloid to finish low beyond the keeper.
As LMB’s passing and substitute advantage began to show, the score gradually increased; Patto running the length of the pitch to finish off his first goal with his new shiny boots before adding two more, Rowan producing a number of silky dribbles (down his chin) or finding the space to (usually) finish to take his goal tally up to 5, while the Rum-soaked Swithinbank worked tirelessly to retain the ball and was finally rewarded when he swept in a shot from the edge of the area, lighting up a fat Cuban cigar (stashed in his underpants) to celebrate. Griffin continued to fend off the attacks with some good saves and was only beaten a few times when the opposition were gifted poor passes or too much time on the edge of the area, while Crozier and debutant Jab were also denied by the invigorated keeper at the other end. In the closing minutes Neil found the net twice to complete his own hat-trick; the first a simple tap-in, while the second defied the laws of gravity (and his gangly legs) as he megged his marker, beat two men and then prodded home.
Unfortunately this was the sort of game we were always going to win, and therefore everyone started off with some complacency and a lack of urgency. Once we got passing and defending as a unit in the second half then the opposition were quickly tired and we put the game to bed, and for once we sustained no further injuries – hurrah!
I should also thank Kieran and Laura for their support, as well as Paul Steels who made a wonderful effort to come down and watch, but got the kick-off time wrong and came down after the match had finished – d’oh!
