With Kieran licking Huey Morgan’s balls (“they aren’t the best, but they have charisma”), Spencer giving his balls an early night, Rowan suffering from swollen balls (“Just a bit achey now still”) and Swithers having to inject Lemsip into his flu-ridden balls, LMB could only put out a squad of 7 players against league leaders LGMC. However, the luxury of having 2 subs was still an advantage against a technically gifted and fit opposition who could only field 5 players, and LMB ran out 13-11 winners after coming from behind (weeeey) in a thrilling encounter that saw the Experian boys in rich goal-scoring form.
The opening five minutes were evenly matched as both teams felt each other out (weeeey again), with Patto cancelling out LGMC’s early opener with a left-footed shot into the top bin after following up his own saved effort. A nervy five minutes followed, and LMB began to fall behind as Griff was beaten by some low, accurate shots and was also ‘unfortunate’ to roll the ball into the path of their unmarked forward who made it 4-1. Suddenly debutant Matt ‘Wheatigol’ Wheat offered an outlet up front, and began to put away a number of lovely solo goals after composed and patient build-up play from the whole team, claiming a first half hat-trick for himself, although LGMC continued to reply with occasional goals of their own. With frustrated long range shots becoming commonplace, Brett offered his own alternative to the orbit ball that left other debutant Andy “Griffo” Griffiths risking life and limb in the stream to find the exasperated Patto’s ball… “A freekick was awarded and Brett Tooby stood poised for the cut back. His heavy breathing and wild eyes meant only one thing, this man meant business. He was psyched, he was in the zone and as the ball was rolled back to him a thunderbolt shot was unleashed, as if Zeus himself had parted the heavens and guided Tooby's foot and given him that raw power... The only trouble was it was high, wide and handsome.” (Crozier, 2010). I’m also informed by Brett that “it was a powerful rising drive that Jonny Wilkinson would have been proud of and if Toby Flood could have done it on Saturday we would not have drew with the Scottish". At the other end LGMC began to find a more determined LMB defence as the half wore on, and were frustrated further when Griff, who hadn’t come close to making a save before and “hadn’t dived once” (Crozier), dynamically saved a penalty to his right to keep a comeback possible. Chibbert put away a low shot just before half time to leave the score 8-5 to the opposition.
LGMC were clearly tiring as the second half began, and the continual running of Griffiths and Crozier, the stern defence of Brett and Chibbert and the strong forward play of Matt and Patto began to bear fruit as LMB pulled level at 8-8. LGMC retook the lead before a surprisingly energetic LMB ran away with the game in the final 15 minutes against the wilting opponents, with both Patto and Chibbert claiming second half hat-tricks, beating the keeper with low, hard shots or composed flicks on numerous occasions, the wounded Crozier battling on to produce a composed finish and Matt claiming his fourth after another jinking run. Griffo came close to a debut goal of his own with the last kick of the game but his volleyed finish from Crozier’s cut back bounced centimetres over the bar with the keeper beaten. Wheatigol took home the Man of the Match award as his early goals kept LMB in the match and worried LGMC from then on, holding up the ball well with defenders all around him, but the whole team played extremely well with only fatigue-induced tracking back being the only gripe (but that was mainly me!)
