For Longy, this is the grudge match of the season.... Not sure what it is but there is something about the SBL (mainly their captain) that really fucks me off. To be honest, the fact they done us 5-4 in both league meetings and humiliated us with a 6-3 drubbing in the Chairman's Cup semi final last year (with wild and over the top celebrations ensuing) is probably the reason haha
But, new season, no additions and being current league leaders could change the whole mind set.
Pete wasn't around as he was visiting his 'dad' (I reckon he had gone on a dirty weekend away to Southend) but Mark was making his first appearance for a fooking long time (same haircut though ha ha).
Talking of haircuts, Gaz had attempted to tidy up his barnet which hadn't been near a pair of scissors for some time and to be fair, he looked alright. Will look even better when he gets it finished ha ha. And Joe with the skinhead obviously went for the Tom Hanks in Philadelphia look!!
Right, on to the darts -
Joe was paired up with Mark and although the averages were pony they done enough to win the game against some high scoring throws from Mandy (2 100 scores in 2 legs was good work). Joe hit an out of the board shot and Longy bellowed 'Use all Three' just as the room went silent. How many more times would I need to say it? None, good stuff. Doubles in the 2nd leg = 18 sets of darts missed by Mark and Joe bit we got it in the end. The 2-0 victory got us well underway and on track to keep our unbeaten record in doubles games
Mark offered to write up the next game and asked me to hand him my PEN 15 ha ha. Em then asked for a back scratch and Joe obliged. She said he scratches her back like her nan to which Longy replied 'that must feel weird seeing as she's dead'. Not sure how appropriate that was there you go ha ha
Gaz and Ian followed up with some higher scores (Ian averaging 18.63 and Gaz 16.08) but the much improved Aarron Melloy hit some good comebacks and was supported by the SBL Skipper who got into the groove in the deciding leg. Lucky the scoring was better than the first game as it needed to be beat their strongest doubles pairing which we did 2-1
Their call and they wanted a singles game. They were bound to play a strong player as they couldn't afford to go 3-0 down so Longy selected Emma, who to this point had not made a complaint about any ailments and she played really well. Ian offered some advice 'Put a strap on and fuck his ass up' ha ha. Opportunity to equalise with a shot at 56 in the 2nd leg. Single 7, Single 19 and just missing out on Double 15 was bloody unlucky which set up a 15.70 average in the leg.... Much better than last week and a solid average, just unlucky that you played and in form Lewis Knee, who to be fair would have probably topped the average table had I kept his scores.
Emma straight back in action with Longy, ooh err, to obtain 6 wins from 6 doubles games. Joe 'spotted' the spot on my nose and thought it was the same as the one on my cock..... I wanna know how he had seen it ha ha. Both players took out a leg each and a solid job was done.
So, as the food came out (looking like something out of trap one in my office toilets it has to be said) and the night already getting late, Gazza is called on and has a tough game against Lee Elkin. He went 1-0 down and after Ian shouted 'throw the game away then Gaz' as he missed a shot and s he turns and gives him 'the eyes' I knew this would be the turning point. Gaz was awesome and hit big score after big score he registered 22.77 and 20.88 averages as he won the next 2 legs. Different class mate, superb darts and no wasted darts when near a checkout was superb.
So, 4-1 up. Just one game left to win and we have consecutive league wins, something that took us til the second half of the season to do last year. Would our nerve hold out?
Joe was called to play against Ant Green, someone that Joe calls Longy's twin..... 1-0 down but not a single figure score in sight was quite unlucky. 'No pressure Joe, it's only for the match' said Ian. Ant was laughing and joking with his team and Joe but Joe then got serious. 60, 95 followed by 84 set him up nicely and he checked out Double 5 with his second dart at it. Get in there!! Ant throws a tantrum, obviously expecting Joe to roll over but he dug in. Ant changed his flights, swore after every shit dart (every shot then ha ha) and Joe took advantage. Both players on a double but would Double 5 be Joe's friend again??? Not this time - even with the hand on his hip (doing his I'm a little teapot impression). Ant took out the double that was needed after snapping at Emma showing her his self harming scars (something else he couldn't get right) said something like 'this is what I do when I'm angry' - what a fucking cock. He then proceeded to storm off bitching and moaning like a spoilt kid. Where was he going??? To update facebook asking for another dubie from someone
As their captain was tucking into some chicken curry, Ian looked at him (in disgust) and said (with actions) 'I wanna shove yr fucking face in that you cunt' ha ha. I thought it was class. Would that be their last run in for the night?? I doubt it!
Longy, once again playing their captain but even though it was close and scoring was pretty steady Longy failed on the doubles. Double 14, previously his favourite, just cannot be found. Oh well, there is always next week. I thought it was class when Ian said he was picking himself and I asked him what his name was (had to be there?!?). The good thing was the celebration from Ian (fist in the air and yelling get in there) fell on deaf ears as all of his players had fucked off. Probably to see if Ant had topped himself!!
With the game set up to be a really close one Ian (4 pints and a couple of Large Cognac Michael's down his neck) played Dave Bridger. Solid, 2-0 win and that won us the game. Average was awful in leg 1 but 18.56 average was superb and wrapped up the match even without hitting a 100 score. Get in there. Solid finish.
Mark, who by this point was fucking hammered, got hammered 2-0 by a solid performance by Andrew Twell. Mark (aka Lester Fagot aka Jimmy Neutron aka Shakin Stevens) was chuckling and hiccuping at the oche which proved to be great fun for us (and the scorer ha ha).
As we left Ian mentioned that Lee Elkin looks better with his hair grown back. For those of you who are not sure who Lee is, he is the one that wears a Brighton & Hove Albion shirt and looks like Dr Evil from Austin Powers (Oh behave baby haha). Their skipper said that it was an out of order comment to which Ian replied something along the lines of 'Fuck off you cunt'.
Despite the fact that Longy lost to their captain AGAIN, didn't have a beer, Ant threatening to top himself, the food being shitand Ian upsetting their team it was one of the best darts nights that I have been involved. Class.
Long may the winning strak continue!!!!
