Following the team’s Christmas night out on Saturday, Sacriston made the ever enjoyable trip to Ferryhill with bad heads, feeling sick, and down to the bare bones squad wise.
Preparing to play the game with 10 men, flair man Davey Winter decided to make a huge U turn from less than 12 hours ago when he ‘probably won’t play again this season’ and decided to boot up, borrow some shinnies and make his long awaited return from his moronic drunken injury, taking up a free role and giving Segga the full quota.
Segga entered the north-east’s worst pitch and did a quick warm up before mortgage man Summers did the coin toss to decide whether we were going up or down the slopes first half. Fortunately Summers won the toss and elected to defend against gravity first half.
The game started fairly evenly but on 10 minutes Ferryhill made the most of shooting downhill when an in-swinging corner drifted over everyone and beyond the far post, only to be met by a Ferryhill attacker who looped a header back over everyone and into the net.
This goal sparked Segga into life and they were starting to enjoy more of the ball, with David and Dan looking lively down the left in behind Sam.
The boys in blue missed a couple of half chances to pull level before getting the break through on 25 minutes, Ben playing the ball to David who in turn put Sam through on goal and the curly haired prince made no mistake in levelling the match.
Sammy doubled his and Sacriston’s tally 10 minutes later when a good through ball from box-to-box midfielder Finch put the hotshot in on goal and he poked the ball past the keeper for 2-1.
Shortly before half time Segga made it three when the lively Winter played a through ball to Sammy who danced round a couple of defenders before firing passed the keeper for a first half hat-trick.
Half time came and by this point the orgasmic, windswept Chris Mordue had arrived and gave Sacriston a sub for the second half if required.
The second half begun with Sacriston now shooting downhill and in full control of the game when the Weasel picked up the ball on the half way line from Finch, before blitzing down the wing, cutting inside and finishing coolly into the bottom corner for 4-1, capping a good performance so far from Newbs.
Sexy Sammy then extended his tally for the match when a delightful ball over the top from Ben ‘Minty’ Sanderson led to Renwick wrestling shoulder to shoulder with the defender; I say ‘wrestling’, the defender bounced off Sam’s bulging biceps and fell straight on the deck, before Renwick fired home as expected.
Ferryhill who by this point were already starting to get frustrated, essentially gave up after Segga’s fifth, and their players and supporters alike were now more focused on how much verbal abuse they could throw at Sacriston and the referee in particular, with some very dubious linesman decisions being thrown in for good measure.
Pussy Pissy then squealed like a bitch for a ‘proper naughty’ foul on him, before Tom and Adam showed some effects from the night before with some circus worthy moments at the back, with Segga’s number one (who looked toasty in his white training t-shirt) resembling Manuel Neuer trying to skin the opposition striker, and almost gifting the goal!
Dan was then replaced by a somewhat worse for wear Mordue who took the field down the left flank.
Sacriston then got their sixth when Winter flicked the ball to Lee, who took it down the wing, cut inside and magnificently chipped the ball over the keepers head and into the top corner for six. Some say he actually meant to cross the ball, but having analysed the footage from Ferryhill TV it was clear that Leeden Hazard knew what he was doing.
Sammy Renwick then scored what I can only describe as one of the softest goals I’ve probably seen in Sunday football, when a Ferryhill throw down the left put Sam clean in on goal, and with no defenders chasing, rounded the already resigned keeper for his fifth of the game, and ninth in just two games, meaning he is now well and truly back where he belongs, on top of the league’s scoring charts.
The full time whistle came and it was an excellent three points, with the Ice Army getting their performances back on track and looking more dangerous in the final third with Captain Hook back in the line-up.
A tough fixture next week against a solid Washington Cross Keys side who have lost just the once in the league so far and have already made it to a cup final. I’m going to put my neck on the line for this one and say Segga will pull off a 9-1 win, with David getting 4, Luke getting 2, Dan getting 2, Gav getting 1 and the opposition missing a first half penna, but who am I to speculate on the outcome of the game?
