Headstone Rangers 5 Stonefield Wanderers 2
The game took place in what can only be described as a mid march monsoon. Stonefield religiously warmed up before the game down the touchline singing ‘he’s got the whole world in his hands’ to lighten the mood on what was a dull day. The game kicked off after the man with a conker for his head read out his team talk which included a few changes to the normal starting 11 as it was a cup match. Stonefield started well pressing the ball high up the pitch, with woodsy forcing the headstone defence into an early mistake, which the prolific striker nick the sensational Simpson tucked away with ease. Sticking with the religious theme, the celebration of a prayer went down well with the church goers from the previous week. Just when you thought this could lead Stonefield to a mighty cup win it had the opposite effect, they took their feet of the peddle and were soon made to suffer after some shoddy defending and soon found themselves behind after 2 goals in 5 minutes from the wankers which were headstone (they aren’t giving it the biggen now are they, 4-1 ). After this the half turned into the weather, pretty shit with both teams failing to string even a couple passes together on a fast cutting up pitch. However the half was not to end in a dull fashion. Roofy after being at church the previous week thought he would turn into mosses for a few seconds but instead of separating the red sea wanted to separate someone’s ankle in half. At first by the reaction of the opposition’s player we all thought he had succeeded, however he hadn’t and after the play acting he got up and played on. Roofy was booked for being such a failure and the game continued. How he hadn’t got sent off only Carl the lying linesman knows. Strong words from Steve at halftime reminding players they were playing for a starting place in the league game the following week had little effect at the start of the second half with the scrappy affair taking over again. However this time a Stonefield error on the left side, not naming names (peter khooooo!) led to a third for the visitors who now claimed to be cruising to victory in this cup game. However an inspired switch bringing Luke o Brien on to the pitch worked within 6 minutes and after he chased what was a lost cause nick the sensational Simpson was left with an open goal to aim at which he failed to miss and the score was 3-2. Was this the comeback of all comebacks? The answer was no, Steve brought on himself and Carl to play happy families in the middle of the park which unfortunately failed drastically. They both had got to used to the church theme for the weekend, and both displayed good will towards the opposition within minutes of coming on. Carl thought he would pass it to the nearest opposition player from a corner and Steve cushioned a header back to headstones keeper from 5 yards out when it was easier to score. The opposition went on to score 2 late goals and the game ended 5-2. The scoreline flattered headstone but it didn’t the week after, THE STONES ARE GOING UP!
