**Harbour Bar Cup Round 1**
Goal Sports Giants – 4 - Stubbings (3), Pollard
Sinnington Sounders FC - 4
The Eyres Scaffolding MOM – Tyson Stubbings (Pictured)
The Everley Fan Of The Match - Indea Ward (Pictured)
Attendance - 3
Report by Randy Bloomshield - Scarborough News Of The World
“Go read some soccer coaching books dwarf boy,” and “That goaltender couldn’t catch food poisoning if he ate some uncooked chicken,” could be heard as the full time hooter sounded today at the Storm Roofing Arena – and that was despite winning the epic Harbour Bar Cup First Round clash with the Sinnington Sounders FC!
The Rudstonian faithful were not happy at the Goal Sports Giants today as they somehow managed to squander a 3-Neil first half lead, and also throw it away when 4-2 up with 25 mins to go!
It all started so well for the Giants as midfielder Dan Pollard fired in a 25 yard rasper on 11 minutens, which the Sounders goal-denyer kindly let under his body to give him a huge stain on his previously clean sheet - and Pollard was mightily grateful.
The next action almost produced the best goal in English soccer as Plumpton found himself staring at a free kick 23.7 yards out.
After purchasing a free kick wall and spending time practicing kicking hard and far, Plumpton fired over what some call a Jamie Skilligan-esque knuckle ball tekker. The ball flew through the air with many players having to cover their ears as the ball created a high pitch screeching noise due to high velocity, which would almost certainly have deafened a dog – only to see the Sounders goal-denyer somehow palm the ball on to the post after the 8th swerve of the kickshot. So close – but yet so far….
The impressive opening period continued as MOM and real life goal scoring hero Tyson Stubbings got in on the act on 19 mins and 27 seconds.
The ginger dude played a neat one two manoeuvre with Kieran Le’friett after a corner restart and Stubbings went hurtling in to the penalty area with great agility and speed, leaving the Sounders rear-guard on the deck – trailing in his wake.
The final act of this goal shot was the actual strike itself as a really big close range kick found the near corner of the soccer goal interior, and doubled the purple outfits lead at 2 scores to neil.
A really naughty incident happened on 32 minutes as the all red wearing Sinnington baddie for some reason kicked Giants French guy – Kieran Le’Friett in the 18 yard danger zone, some say he just hated the French - and out of nowhere the whistle lord signalled for a 12 yard death strike with a strong but firm whistle.
Up stepped Stubbings, who after mid-week practice made no mistake as he fired in his second of the game and made the Giants incredibly comfortable in their soccer.
The game looked safer than a Durex safe and secure when suddenly some slack ass defending by the Giants let in the visitors big guy to nod home a corner restart unmarked inside the penno area.
Like a fart in a crowded small changing room, everyone began to panic – and the score quickly became so much closer than it previously was as more dilly dallying in the deefense saw the Sounders round the keeper and score their second netter of the match.
Opening Period – 3 v 2
A much improved opening 3 minutes of the 2nd period saw the Giants get themselves back on top, which incidentally is just how…nope, just remembered I’m not allowed to do those jokes.
Dan Pickard had found himself in the starting line-up, rather than the sub shack this week and he decided to pick a trademark fight with anyone willing.
After receiving a hefty challenge and being called a “diving no toothed winger” Pickard proceeded to take one for the team and took a meaty challenge by the same baddy inside the 18 yard danger zone, resulting in another big whistle by the whistle lord.
Up stepped Stubbz and he duly delivered like Dan Bywater on his local posty round for his hat trick – firing his 2nd death strike in to the SGI and once again give the boys a 2 strike lead.
And this boys and girls is where the Giants once again turned in to a bad team, like Chelsea FC of this seasons EPL maybe?!
Two quite horrendously defended goals saw the Sounders tie the game at 4 goalazo’s each, and with the whistle lord sounding the final hooter this meant only one thing – 12 yard death strikes to settle the game, and the Rudstonian fans let their team know about it with a chorus of insults, boos and horse crap flinging off a long stick at any nearby players.
Coach Pluminho asked his team for heroes, for men capable of firing in the death strike, men brave enough to step forward and put their reputations on the line. Brad Parkin turned his back on the lads and went to sit in the sub shack in floods of tears, his arse had fallen out - the young defender just too scared at the idea of taking one after weeks of begging to have a go.
Stubbz fired in first, to make it a hat-trick of penno’s for the day. Le’Friett inserted, as did Seaside Tommy Wilde.
It was looking good for the Giants as a Sounder fired straight at the Giant No1 and Dan Pollard stuck home the 4th for the boys meaning it was hero time for the Sinnington forward who had impressed throughout the game.
Sadly for him, and to great celebrations by literally no-one the forward missed and Plumpton got away with taking one.
It was all over – The Giants dream of licking the Harbour Bar trophy was still on! But to progress any further the coach, the fans and the players know they must buck their ideas up and play some much better soccer, or bad times will indeed come their way in a nearby soccer clash.
‪#OneMoreStep2WorldDomination‬ ‪#StubbzHatrick‬ ‪#GingerBallz‬ ‪#Knuckleball‬ ‪#SkilliganDaMaster‬ ‪#PennoFun‬ ‪#FansMadeUsSad‬ ‪#HarbourBarCup‬
