**Super League C Result**
Goal Sports Giants – 3 – Pollard (2), Hill
Fishburn Park Panthers - Neil
The Eyres Scaffolding MOM – Stewie Wilson (Pictured)
The Everley Fan Of The Match – Dan Pickard (Pictured)
Attendance - 6
Report by Randy Bloomshield, Scarborough News Of The World
While the guys in Scarborough get pumped for another fabulous Super League Soccer weekend, over this side of the country in Whitby - the home of the Goth, was wear the real soccer action was at.
George Clooney, Santa Claus, Abraham Lincoln and Gandalf are all incredibly talented guys with beards but today Dan Pollard can be added to this list as he almost single handidly dragged the 3 points victoryization back to the sleepy village of Rudston with a two goalshot haul and an assist.
Like his bearded compadre’s Pollard can produce moments of magic when it really matters, albeit our Purple hero may not have the magical wizardry powers of Gandalf, the on screen ladies knicker dropping charms of George Clooney, or even the once a year celebration of Santa himself, but our number 31 dwelling hero is the only guy who can do the business on a slippery surface in Whitby whilst sporting a beard - and that is a fact!
The soccer turf left a lot to be desired as huge mud baths were placed around the pitch, just on the off chance someone fancied taking a brown dip, and once again our Soccer Moms will have a job on their hands to wash the Giant’s PE kits after another slog affair.
A surprise selection in the forward line was sprung with Bradley Parkin, who models for Top Man, standing in the window 5 days a week in a blazer and some tight briefs, was flung out on the right hand side in an attempt to impove his low level skill tekkers.
The front 3 of Parkin, Stubbings and Friend were causing the Panthers back door some issues as our boy’s movement and side foot pass ability saw Stubbings have an effort cleared off the line after good approach play by Pollard after 8 minutes.
The above mentioned heroes were at it again moments later as Pollard found himself well placed and somehow managed to anti-insert the ball in to the SGI, and Stubbings struck the foot of the post moments later after doing a Turtles-esque spin attack kick inside the 6 yard danger zone box when spinning on his back!
After a lot huffing and puffing the Giants just couldn’t blow that Panthers back door down and the two sides made their way to the coaching technical area to reassess tactics and take on much needed Ribena and custard creams as the scoreboard showed nils each.
First Period – Neil v Neil
After explaining to his boys that the game should be treated like you would treat a beautiful woman in the bedroom – making sure you don’t peak too soon and keep frustration to a minimum, taking time to work the magic and make your opponent work for it, the Giants relaxed and began to kick the ball about with a tad more ease and composure. Mainly as the half they were attacking actually had a little more grass on.
The opening goalshot came on 58 as Stewie Wilson decided to do soccer so magical his opposite number must have thought he was enjoying a short stay at Disney World as our right back fired over an exquisite through ball attack cross to the direction of the bearded onrushing face of Pollard.
Pollard had no time to react as he closed his eyes and found the ball ricochet in off a hidden banana in his beard which he had dropped at dinner time and seemingly not noticed it had in fact become stored in his face foliage and now become part of a goalshot!
A beautiful moment as Pollards 5 month goalshot drought was finally over!
The Whitby based soccer franchise were on the ropes and even a foul throw by Plumpton who cited a wet ball, bad conditions and bad light for the action, could not give them a leg up in to the game which was quickly being taken away from them.
TS7 was trying real hard to stain the score sheets, but it was clear the pressure of trying to fill the cleats of greats like subshackers - Kieran Le’Friett and fellow Brit Dan Pickard, it was too much to take as he struck wood off of the upper and vertical white beams on two more occasions to complete his pointless hatty.
The Giant’s struck again on 75 as Stubbings turned creator with a slide-rule pass that certainly did not resemble the Brad Parkin crowd finder that was sighted minutes before to great laughter from the crowd, who pointed and teased our young makeshift striker.
Pollard was through, one on one in the pressure cooker of the 18 yard danger zone with the onrushing Panthers stopper charging at him like an escaped Zoo animal.
It’s moments like this that give Pollard the nickname “ice man” as he dinky donky doo’d the glove man with great aplomb and doubled the away sides lead. What a finish!
There was still time for one more dramatically dramatic piece of drama as the elite soccer ability of the Giants was rubber stamped in the form of surprise strike force option and recent game arrival of Paul “Boothy” Hill who had taken up his role as a Jozy Altidore style striker, obviously in his Hull days.
The Giants broke clear down the right, Pollard releasing Hill in to close quarters and Hill made no mistake as he goal tucked under the despairing hand denial grasp of the Panther and he showed his buddies just how much of a threat he can be when put clear in the right areas, a threat which he has been asking to try and be up top since September 1st 2015.
Hill told Hailstorm post-match “I may not get man of the match today but the Fishburn boys were just no match for me”
“You should retire from the game!” was heard seconds after the Hill goal as many Panthers guys poked fun and were real mean to their central deefense guy who had been stripped for pace by the makeshift forward.
It was real mean and Hill should be real happy with his great show of pace, and also remember to keep his asthma inhaler close to him for the remainder of the evening in case of an impending attack.
The next Super League C tie will be one of the most eagerly anticipized soccer games in world soccer as the Eastway Earthquakes make their way to the Storm Roofing Arena in what is set to be a battle of the league’s 2nd and 3rd placed promotionalization chasing guys. But who will come out on top of this heavyweight clash? Tune in Monday to find out!
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