It seems some loyal readers were upset at last week's comparison between our Hoffs and were eager for me to point out that Alex is also a better defender. True but he's yet to let us play with his Tinder profile down the pub so there is a case that can be made for BoC awards bridesmaid Ben.
Tonight we were delighted to welcome Alex back to restore our Hoff balance and also to see a pair of Charlie's. Concerns about senior Charlie's fitness had gone viral and it looks like the Uri Gellar inspired prayers paid dividends as he was back sharper than ever filling that troublesome left back slot that Sheedy has failed to make his own.
Late no shows from Hoof and Tom saw the centre mid dream team from the early noughties (the unstoppable sex pests Burt and Boiband) reunited at centre back.
We were playing the Royal Household who in busman holiday fashion had been pretty subservient oppo in recent years but like ASJS are now putting together a more competitive team with lots of athletic and over aggressive Liverpool fans packing their midfield and attack.
We all have our war wounds - I took an elbow early before being clattered into. BBZ once again regretting having a rib removed to see if he could "do a Nye" as he picked up another injury in that area.
Their defence wasn't very good especially some comical left backery but we struggled to get a firm foothold in the game despite some robust CM play from Punter.
The shiny ball and damp surface saw lots of passes skid out of play and neither keeper had many saves to make. Their excellent keeper Oscar (who enjoyed being manager a bit too much) came out sharply to deny Alex. Then a good Neil through ball saw their always offside striker (who started CB) bring down Tony for a clear pen.
Just because I went and got the ball and put it on the spot does not mean I was trying to deny Tony the chance to move ahead for his rightful position as top goalscorer but he gallantly stepped/was forced aside to allow me to take it. Normally when a prima donna player steals penalty duties they miss but not this time 1-0 BoC at half time.
The second half was a much more tetchy. The royals has a goal legitimately disallowed for offside but this led to them to appeal for lots of stupid ones seeing fair minded Neil lose his rag.
Burty pretended a ball didn't come off him for a corner to no avail despite doubling down by calling the guy a cheating tw@t.
I somehow headed down and over from 4 feet (1.192m) an excellent dipping punter corner and ruined some other promising chances.
It was a heroic effort from our defence but this ended after a the blasted the ball into Mole-A's hand from 3 yards (2.74m). I always think that from such range it shouldn't be a penalty. Debate raged as chubby digits saw his hands both by his side and blocking 2 feet (61cm) either side of his body. In the end the cheating tw@ts won and scored the pen despite some excellent erratic lateral movement from Tys pre kick.
2 min to go and there was still time for the amiable Thommo to hit the bar. The call of full-time was made as BoC broke forward and a waiting team meant no bonus time - typically Ily stuck the ball in the top corner from 29 yards (26.52m) straight after the final whistle seeking some to claim a 2:1 victory.
A saucy 6 in the pub saw the merits of Jordan debated as Ily shared stories of an enormous conquest and BBZ plumbed new depths as he roleplayed raping Stephen Hawking. Both in their own way working on a new big bang theory.
