The rain was constant throughout the day, in that typically English way, and it continued into the evening, notable for being the first time in months we had played in the wet. A strong drizzle. Strizzle? That, combined with our choice to play an away game on the near pitch is perhaps an explanation as to our poor first half. The slick conditions played havoc with our even slicker passing game, multiple culprits passing either to no one, the opposition, out for a throw, or putting a delightful through ball in for the oppo’s striker (that was me).
With Tys’s mysterious injury (anger management courses??), and being short of players, we convinced Hoofer to go in goal for his first game back since turning his foot at right angles, so he needed to be tested, and he wasn’t found wanting. Flapping a little, sure – but that’s the charm of the man. Welcome back Hoof! We aren’t the only ones who missed you – the Mexican has shut, and I think we all agree the blame can be laid squarely at your misaligned feet.
Neal “Late Confirm” Chettle was true to form again this week. Although his confirmation did come through just before midday on the day of the game, so it's a PB and for that he must be congratulated. Step by step, week by week, minute by minute, and who knows – this time next year he could be confirming by Wednesday evening. #LifeGoals.
We conceded early through a defensive miscommunication, the backline of Stu, Molby, Matteo and Charlie George looking a bit ragged, but then so was the midfield of Neal “Long Ball” Chettle, Jordan, Phil and me, as well as the forward line of Ilyas and Latchford. Lacklustre and asleep sums up our first half performance, but we still went in ahead at 3-2. The oppo, although seemingly nice chaps, just aren’t much chop.
Chris scored the first, a looping chip over their small keeper. I think everyone’s eyes light up when they see this guy turn up in goal. He’s a good keeper, and also seemingly a nice chap – but he is SHORT. And that makes shooting FUN.
Illy scored the second, played through on the edge of the box, bumbling around a bit and then somehow stumbling it into the bottom corner. What luck. Jordan scored the third, I can’t remember how, but rest assured it was probably the greatest goal of all time. He has a habit of doing that.
3-2 at the break, but we really turned it on the second half and never looked like losing. If we hadn’t taken our foot off the gas a little bit we would have had a dozen. Chris got the fourth, from Illy’s fluke of a cross, beautifully controlling with his chest the terrible Illy mis-hit before slotting home.
I got the fifth, Chris laying it off to me as I stormed down the right, one touch and then BANG! I belted it wide. Well, thought I had, till it dinged off the near post and in. Best sound in the world I tells ya.
Illy got the sixth, yet another fluke as his attempt at hoofing clear deep in the opposition’s half somehow resulted in a chip over the diminutive keeper. What a chancer.
At some point they scored a couple and made it “interesting”, but it always felt as if we had more goals if required – and Andy “Hat Trick” Jacskon Flash duly obliged. Playing in his natural left-mid position, he ghosted inside, exchanged passed with Latch before expertly chipping home from 25 yards. I told you this keeper was fun! “Hat Trick” Jackson Flash then missed a sitter, and later hit the post. The eighth was a tap in from yours truly after a nice team move, and I also could’ve had three when a 30-yard left-foot piledriver pinged off the underside of the bar, bounced on the line, and bounced out again.
The final kick of the game was an terrific corner swung right into the danger zone from someone that wasn’t Illy, with Jordan nicely tucking away the volley. About time he scored a scrappy goal.
Time was called at 86 minutes, and a solid contingent headed pubwards. There was incredibly vociferous support for the MOTM award to go the player finally restored to his rightful spot in midfield and thus turning in a sterling 2-goal 2-assist performance (ie me), but I didn’t bow to the crowd's plaintive pleas, despite their obvious validity. Instead I decided to turn my own encouragement towards the oft-overlooked workhorses of the team: the strikers. These poor beasts never get the accolades their hard work deserves; never do they shine in the spotlight; never are their toils acclaimed. Come season’s end no one remembers their selfless endeavours, their only possible accolade the lonely and pathetic salve of the Top Goalscorer award. Thus, in honour of these unsung heroes, our forgotten few, I present to you this week’s MOTM: Chris “He’s A Striker” Taylor.
