You're better off renting than buying. The wise words of Charlie George, perhaps the wisest member of BoC. And like all wise men, when the proposition was raised that he was the wisest, he instantly poo-pooed the notion. So wise. In another nugget of truth from Charlie a few weeks back, one of our younger members was discussing drugs and The Oracle just sat quietly in the corner, taciturn as ever. He finally piped up, "Watch out for that cocaine, it's a creeper. It'll sneak up on you before you know it".
The opposition were Fosters this week, and although some of their big stars were away playing 7-a-side, they still fielded a strong squad with plenty of talent. Solid centre backs, nippy midfielders and quick forwards, but all those new faces just struggled a bit to gel as a team.
We were joined by Tommy Dazzler's brother Dave Dazzler, in town before he jets off to travel the west coast of the Americas and settle in Vancouver. All because of Brexit apparently. Tys back in goal (finally!), backline of Oracle, Stu, Doggie, Hanning, midfield of Dave Dazzler, Tommy Dazzler, Jordan, Hoff Jnr, with Cuz Andy and Illy up top. Latch on the bench due to lateness, again due to Brexit.
We were a bit ropey for the first five or ten, they missed an open goal after about 60 seconds, and it was somewhat of a surprise when Jordan scored the opener. Typical Zola gold, weaving past a few players before arrowing a shot into the bottom right corner. Keeper no chance. Tommy Dazzler was busy in midfield, providing excellent defensive cover, and just before half time Hoff Jnr put us two in front, a slightly bobbled finish nestling into that bottom right corner again from an Andy assist.
Second half saw Dave Dazzler move to left back, Tommy Dazzler wide left and Cuz Andy and Jordan in the middle. The change left us with a gung-ho dynamic duo in the middle, however that meant there were quite a few gaps for the oppo to exploit. And exploit they did. At least, that's the story the defence are sticking to. Waltzing through the middle they pulled one back, before more Jordan magic laid the ball on a plate for Latch to tap home from half a yard. Was it going wide? Did he steal Zola's goal? He will never tell, and we will never know.
3-1 in front, two-goal cushion restored, perfect time for the midfield to part again leaving their striker to roll past Tys and slot into an empty net. Two-goal cushion removed, perfect time for Illy to restore it, courtesy of a nice assist from Hoff Jnr. Latch almost scored a belter, cracking a low volley against the inside of the left post, it rocketed across the goal line before dinging out off the other post. Sorry to say, but PAPYP*. He claims a defender got a nick on it, but again - we will never know the truth.
A 4-2 win, perhaps more comfortable than it should have been, quite a number of misplaced passes from Fosters helping our cause, although the defence were quite solid with the tackles and interceptions. As ever a few contenders for man of the match. Jordan Zola played very well, but he's a very good player so it can't always be him. Hoff Jnr figured highly with his GAGYP** and AAAYP***, but the plaudits this week belong to Tys, a superb return to the team for the tanned skateboarding brickie. He made a couple of wonderful saves, including a magnificent one-on-one at the feet of their big striker. The old dog reigning supreme again.
PubSquad of Latch, Hanning, Stu, Doggie, Charlie, Tommy Dazzler. Latch and Hanning spent most of the time nutting out Brexit, although we did hear that Hanning has just moved house - 300 yards down the road. When quizzed about the possibilities of a housewarming he claimed every room was surrounded by a Berlin wall of packing boxes, but there are suspicions it was down the centre of the marital bed instead.
Stu has been watching the olympics religiously, the only sport he almost switched off was the judo. The real test is the dressage; if you can sit through that, you can sit through anything. Lots of discussion regarding best sport for hotties, somehow rugby winning the day. I must admit I find the olympics quite unpalatable, so haven't a clue, although rugby seems a dodgy conclusion.
TottyWatch:
Dani Behr, Amanda de Cadenet, Denise Van Outen, Jo Guest, Pepsi and Shirley. The Oracle met Pepsi at a wedding a few months ago, we have it on good authority he introduced himself as "Dr Pepper".
* Posts Are Posts You Pricks
** Goals Are Goals You Pricks
*** Assists Are Assists You Pricks
