These days you never know what you’re going to get when you play Woodlands. The once great dominators of the Tonbridge League now have a kind of hit and miss aura about them. They have in recent seasons caught Blackham out and put them to the sword 4-0 and 4-1 on two occasions. That said last season we had the better of them in the league meetings with 5-2 and 8-2 wins. This week saw the return of Fans favourite Nikul ‘Brown Bear’ Patel, Thom Thumb from a week’s sabbatical and also an unlikely return of the self alienated Tom Bayley. Obviously cricket had been rained off and the squash club was shut, but either way he was there with his boot bag and towel ready for action.......well his boot bag at least. With Hobbit being absent due to a ‘Very important family event’ and Latts still in the treatment room B&A reverted to a 4-5-1 formation with Thumbelina coming straight back in to the starting line up and Bert moving in to a free role behind 2Gun.
B&A started at a healthy pace and only took 5 minutes to get a score on the door. A perfectly placed Benjamin Phillip Freeman corner was headed home with a vengeance buy Bish at the far stick. Bert was in fine form and looked keen to get his scoring account open. With this in mind he let fly from 30 yards but his shot crashed against the underside of the crossbar, the keeper nowhere. Luckily our plucky winger, Zac Morris from Saved By the Bell was quickest to react as he beat the centre back to the header placing it low in to the corner and out of the reach of the Woodlands keeper. Who was most annoyed with his back four and remonstrated thoroughly behind their backs as they walked away ignoring him.
Blackham & Ashurst were now looking comfortable and knocking the ball around with ease. Hamish Macbeth and Thumbelina were untroubled in the middle and were getting ball down and to feet at will. Bert was having a field day in his role with Woodlands just unable to pick up his runs. An exquisite cross from the reformed Baggo found Bert 5 yards from goal with only the keeper to beat but he somehow managed to miss kick it wide. He was starting to get the feeling that the goal gods were against him. Woodlands then went down to 10 men when their centre forward twisted his knee badly and had to be taken off with no sub to replace him. Minutes later it was 3-0. Ugly Jew Baggo picked p the ball in his own half and ran through in to the Woodlands box before finishing in style from close range. Last week’s penalty miss a distant memory.
There was just time for one more before the half. Another fantastic run from Bert was picked out, again he was clean through and again his feet couldn’t keep up with his brain and ended up unwittingly foxing the keeper and setting up 2Gun to roll the ball in to an empty net and open his account for the season. As half time approached the points were already looking safe.
In the second half 2Gun added two more goals as well as hitting the bar twice. Frage came off the bench replacing his tired, fragile and much uglier older brother and completed the scoring within minutes, again something that his brother couldn’t manage against 10 men!! So at 7-0 the game was won but there was still time for drama. Zac Morris went skipping in to the box looking to double his tally and was brutally hacked down by the monstrous Woodlands centre half. Penalty. Despite a heartfelt appeal from Bish Bert was the predetermined spot kick taker and he had run his knackers off and deserved a goal more than anyone. So up he stepped...................and blasted it wide. It really wasn’t his day in front of goal but still an MOM performance.
It was a professional display with lots of good football but we still need to make sure we take our chances and get the goals. Also two missed pens from two isn’t great. What is great is two wins from two. Let’s make it three out of three this week
