A superb second half performance saw Blackham earn a much deserved victory over a tough Southborough side.
We knew going into this game that we would have to be prepared for a battle if we were to get anything out of it. Our cause was not helped by our never-ending injury list and, after Robbie G was unexpectedly called up at the last minute to do some scouting for our Academy side in Sidcup, we were left with a bare XI. It should also be made known that Adam Harrison was unavailable as he was in Las Vegas getting married, our congratulations go out to the happy couple. Thankfully Badger Piper’s renaissance in the black and red continued as he heroically stepped into the breach to be named as our only substitute, it’s great to have him back in the fold and long may it continue, as long as it doesn’t lead to Sladey AKA Eugene/Ian Beale/Bullet/Dipsh*t, lingering outside the changing room with his acoustic guitar on a Saturday afternoon.
Nice Guy Neil had a few decisions to make when selecting the side, with so few options it was inevitable that some people would have to play in unfamiliar roles. Vice-captain Junior was allowed out of The Priory on day release to resume his duties at right back and Bowlesy, the spitting image of Cheryl Cole in the new Loreal adverts, slotted in on the left with Smithy and a bleary eyed Jim at the heart of the defence. Rumours that Jim was forced by Hobbit to stay up until 5 in the morning drinking Tequila and lifting weights for his initiation into ‘The Hobbit-hole’ are as yet unconfirmed, although I did spy Bayley and Jim sharing a knowing look during the warm-up. Huffers was available for selection having been forced to make regular trips to Birmingham to have horse placenta injected into his knee and lined up on the left hand side of an otherwise unchanged midfield consisting of Tom-Thom in the middle and Bert on the right flank. Two Gun Willy lined up alongside the skipper to complete the XI that the gaffer felt would best enable us to express ourselves naturally.
It would be fair to say that we didn’t get off to the best of starts and it came as no surprise when we fell behind after quarter of an hour. Bert was caught on the ball inside our half and the ball ran through to their right winger who confidently dispatched it past Nice Guy, giving him no chance. To his credit, Bert didn’t allow his head to drop, although this may have more to do with the fact that, due to his lack of a neck, it cannot drop any lower.
Things didn’t improve initially following that setback, the wide pitch led to us looking very stretched at times and we were struggling to keep hold of the ball for more than a few passes. Southborough were getting into promising wide positions but kept letting us off the hook with poor quality deliveries, although Big Nose decided to keep things entertaining by throwing a particularly tame cross at the goal before recovering superbly to clear off the line. Gozzy had been our standout performer and began to cause them real problems running onto balls played in the channel, Hathers began to get involved by coming inside more and we spent the last ten minutes of the first half in the ascendency. This spell of pressure should have led to the equaliser when Gozzy ran on to a ball over the top and slotted in, only to be thwarted by the linesman. There was also a reasonable shout for a penalty when their skipper controlled a cross from Bert with his arm before clearing, unfortunately the Ref could not see this from his vantage point on the halfway line.
At half time the talk was very positive; we knew they were there for the taking and that the next goal would be crucial. Two Gun really began to make his presence felt up top and was unlucky to see a back-heeled effort cleared off the line following a dangerous corner from Spud Nowell. He was not to be denied though and duly notched the equaliser on the hour, meeting a perfectly whipped in ball from Goz on the volley at the near post and diverting it past the keeper. It was no more than we deserved, we had tightened up all over the pitch and were now looking dangerous every time we attacked. Jim had finally sobered up and was looking solid alongside Smithy, Junior and Bowlesy. The midfield quartet were snapping into tackles and using the ball intelligently, Bert becoming more of a threat as the game went on with his pace and Spud began dictating the game from the middle of the park.
It was Mr Potato Head who put us in front following a flowing move which began in our own half, put in via a great flick on from Two Gun he smashed the ball through the keepers legs into the net. The celebrations on the pitch were matched on the sidelines; Mr and Mrs Nowell joined by many of our walking wounded, including Gandhi who had just been given his temporary visa allowing him back into the country. Things got even better a couple of minutes later when we were awarded a free kick on the edge of the box, Gozzy stepped up and crowned a superb individual performance by curling the ball home off the far upright, sparking jubilant scenes on and off the pitch.
The remainder of the game consisted of us sitting back a little and attempting to hit them on the break, a tactic more borne out of tiredness than choice. We survived a few anxious moments at the back, Smithy capping a mature display with a succession of well timed challenges when left 1-on-1 and Jim bravely putting his head in places some wouldn’t dangle a foot. Bert’s pace nearly led to further goals, he was harshly penalised for outmuscling the right back when he would have been left with just the keeper to beat. The nerves were jangling by now and they got even worse when Southborough pulled a scrappy goal back after we had failed to clear our lines following a corner. This led to them putting us under some real pressure but a combination of good handling from Neil and brave defending saw us home without any major scares, there was still time for Spud to pick up his 23rd booking for dissent so far this season for complaining about the ref turning a blind eye to Gozzy getting wiped out by their keeper.
This was a massive three points for us, everyone gave everything they had and it was a great victory to be a part of. If we get close to that level of commitment every week we won’t be far from the top, we know we’ve got ability on the ball but things like Bayley making a great tackle in our box in the last minute were what won us the game. Everyone should be proud of their performance but the undisputed Man of the Match had to be our skipper, not just for his slices of pie but his overall performance. It took three of them to deal with him at times and he worked so hard off the ball closing them down. Special mentions also go to Pipes for coming on to help run the clock down and nearly getting decapitated at the end! A big thanks also has to go to Alice Cooper for helping out on the line and withstanding a torrent of abuse from Not-so-Gentlemanly Jim!
