Return of the Fredi
The most eagerly anticipated sequel in local soccer came about last weekend as The Riskers Rudeboys hosted The Ayton Alligators in the Frank White trophy. Everybody knew this was only a minor story line as the crowds flocked to Olivers Mountain in their tens as Freddie vs Lumbis II became only moments away.
Frederiksen has been training hard for the return bout after smashing Lumbis right between the eyes and bringing the poor lad to tears in the league battle only two weeks ago. A source close to Freddie informed the Gator’s press team of his determination not to be destroyed by the evil sith lord; Lumbis.
Our gangly Gator had indeed enlisted a fellow team mate in the shape of Rob Ascough to put him through his paces - in and out of the gym. Ascough, who himself is a trained Jedi; said “His gym work has really bulked him up in the last two weeks, there was nothing in there he couldn’t do. At one point I nipped to the loo to find him benching the reception help desk with one arm, and that was with the receptionist sat on it! He is ready”.
Sadly as kick off time came around Frederiksen had contracted a mystery virus, some said swine flu, and others said aids. The jury was out but Frederiksen took his place on the Gator’s bench as he growled and snarled teeth on show at Lumbis from the sideline. Lumbis looked scared as a small wet patch appeared in his shorts.
For the first time this season the Ayton based club found themselves blessed with the mercurial talent that is Phil Warnett, the self proclaimed “White Pele”. Warnett slotted in to the engine room with Plumpton and the Ginger Hick as a bit of flair and guile was asked for by Pluminho.
It was a scrappy start by both sides as defences gifted their opposition numerous chances with Riskers forwards Speight and Delve being defied expertly by new signing Dan Green. The Gators were also looking likely to break the deadlock as former Spanish Primera side forward – Marlon Moreno drew a save from the Rudeboy glove tender and Wallace fired just wide with his left peg.
(Above -the Spanish Hero Moreno)
Moreno has settled well in to Scarborough local league soccer after 3 seasons with his former Spanish club Hercules, where he finished top scorer twice in 3 seasons with a combined total of 87 goals. He is sure to be an asset for the Gators front line in the coming weeks.
The Aytoners were struggling to hold the ball in forward positions as the usually magical fleet footed Bywater found the going tough in the longer Olivers Mountain grass that came up to our hero’s knees. Wallace was struggling to keep the ball up top, finding holding it up tougher than Gary Glitter’s will power at a local swimming baths during an Under 8’s beginner’s session.
Dan Green was proving a real inspired selection in net as he beat out shot after shot with his cat like reflexes, chest pumping and roaring with every save that kept the thankful Gators on level terms. The pick of the saves saw him save from close range with his elastic like legs to divert a certain goal around the post for a Rudeboy corner, it really was inspirational stuff.
On 35 minutes a breakthrough finally came as the Gators failed to make anything from their own corner and Wallace wasted a good opportunity by running into his opposite number on the edge of the box. The Rudeboys broke at speed as cries of vroooooom were heard by the onrushing forwards as they dashed in to the Gator’s half. It was 4 v 3 as the Gator’s midfield and forwards decided to have a rest upfront. The inevitable happened as Mawer found himself two on one at the back post and the Rudeboy hitman dropped it nicely to his mate to slam home and put his side one up in the cup competition.
Just as previous weeks the Gator’s have not laid down like Katie Price at the first sign of tail – oh no, they were ready for the scrap as Plumpton hit his longest ever completed pass – fully 60 yards over the full backs head to Moreno on the right. Moreno couldn’t believe it and to be frank, neither could any of Plumpton’s team mates. The slight hesitation was to cost Moreno as the Rudeboy stopper came out expertly to thwart his attacking advances and end the danger. It was the first time on Olivers Mountain that a player had been seen sporting an erection during a football match as Plumpton struggled to hold his delight at his very big kick.
Warnett proved wasteful on set piece duty as his 3 efforts floated over the bar and in to the wall. Frederiksen murmured “I’d of done better, has this kid never seen my Freddies guide to free kick Tekkers DVD featuring hits such as the Weaponess Goalbanger”
The Alligators persistence paid off in the 42nd minuten as they finally broke through after some good work by Wallace up top. Wallace slid the ball to Moreno who scooted round his defender and fired in a strike at the onion sack. A great save again by the stopper but Moreno would not be beaten as he leapt on the rebound faster than Barrymores house guests in to a swimming pool as he slammed home his first goal in Alligators colours, showing his delight with his Regi Miller corner flag cello.
Half Time
Riskers Rudeboys (1) v (1) Ayton Alligators
Once again the Gators went in to the break with a positive score line as dreams of finishing the match with such a resulty began to make their way in to the teams mind. Pluminho called for calm, reminding his players they had defended poorly for the majority of the half and asked for more from his forwards. The boys listened, nodded on occasion as Pickard whipped out his man sized pack lunch and munched away on his egg and cress sarnies.
There had been something missing from the Ayton side all afternoon as usual top match fan Jon Hick failed to attend the game after making the live shows of Britains Got Talent in Birmingham. Hick’s act has been said by a BGT insider to have impressed judges Hasselhoff and Amanda Holden as Hick Street danced his way through to the next stage, finishing his set with his trademark jump to splits move
(Above - Hick + Pals before street Dance Act)
and rightfully receiving Ant + Decs applause backstage.
Back to the action……. and all the talk of concentration keeping was almost undone instantly as Pickard just about got enough on his defensive header with Speight bearing down on Green. It was a nervy moment at the back, as Pickard found himself sweating like a gypsy in a room full of spoons, but luckily one he got away with.
A good 10 minutes passed and the scores were still level, which is a new record since the turn of the year. The record wasn’t smashed by much as some disgraceful defending saw Riskers score after the Ayton boys failed to clear at umpteen opportunities.
More goals were sadly to follow as Holdens ‘poorly’ leg played up on conceding the 3rd. On came Atkinson and he was soon straight in to the action, treading on the soccer and making a real dunce of himself as the Riskers hero raced through unopposed and made it 4 after only 20 minutes of the half.
Some poor defending at corners really rubbed salt in the wounds as goals 5 + 6 flew passed Green – who had played a blinder to keep the score down until this point it must be said.
Then came a real moment of controversy as Moreno was hacked down like a Lumberjack felling a 20ft beech. It was a penno kick to the Gators….Up stepped Bywater….
The match official and long time CBBC viewer Luke Purvis was taking a real hammering from the Riskers boys, who were arguing relentlessly for the ref to change his decision. The decision was final and Bywater took a breath and unleashed his left footed spot strike – only to see it twang the knackers of Purvis who had positioned himself strangely only two yards away from the goal posts. Laughter erupted from everyone but Bywater as he turned glum faced to Plumpton, welling up in the process. His frown was turned upside down however as the ref astonishingly demanded a retake as the Rudeboy keeper had encroached off his goal line zone! Bywater made no mistake with the 2nd effort as he made sure the Gator’s great attacking record of hitting 2 goals or more in the last 5 games continued.
Then the moment the crowd had been waiting for came about as both sets of fans rose from their padded Olivers Mountain seats as Pluminho introduced Frederiksen to the battle. On came the big man, lightsaber calmly tucked in to his Gators shorts, ready to cut down his nemesis at the earliest opportunity.
(Left- Freddie Ready to kill)
The remaining moments were played with only a whisper from both sides as they knew just one tackle could swing Freddie over the edge and send him once again in to a blood thirsting like frenzy.
Lumbis did not wanting to know as his team mates beckoned him in for battle. A circle was made around the Gator’s and Rudeboy warriors and the two came toe to toe on the centre spot. “I’m ready to end you” said Freddie, “it’s over brother, what’s done is done, now let us end this animosity” said a reserved and scared Lumbis. The remaining 20 players couldn’t believe such a call from the usually rough and tumble Lumbis but the call was made and the game continued. (Lumbis picured right as he prepares to duel Freddie)
A seventh and soul destroying goal went in for Riskers as they booked their passage safely through to the next round.
Pluminho once again is left wondering just why his team keep collapsing in the 2nd period as he looks to enlist the help of top sports scientist Dr Toby Lerone over the coming weeks in a bid to turn it around.
The Man of the Match as sponsored by Admiral Car Insurance in Hick’s absence saw Green go home the happy man with a bottle of bubbly and a smile on his gleaming face!
