Mexoc v Jay Mac Saturday 18th February 2012
The morning started with heavy rain, so much so that it prompted a phone call from the referee to Faulkner asking him if he could check the pitch before he made the long-haul drive from Crosby. As Faulkner was still in bed and basically couldn’t be arsed he rang the Willo’s who unfortunately, or fortunately for them, were in work. He then tried Frost who must have sensed the request and ignored the call. But then Frost did tell Lewis that he ignores all calls from Faulkner due to a grudge he bares because of a miss-placed pass last season that caused the opposition sideline to laugh at Frost and subsequently call him a ‘wally’ for the rest of the game.
Faulkner took the gamble that the pitch was ok and it paid off, as the pitch was perfect, if your idea of perfect is a pitch full of divots and the odd dog poo. The squad slowly turned up. Lewis and O’Shea arrived first and whilst O’Shea ran into the changing rooms due to an uncontrollable bowel movement brought on by 3 cans of Monster, Lewis waited in the car whilst the smell dispersed from the toilet. Faulkner arrived next and promptly struggled with the kits, nets, corner flags and balls. Lewis, sensing he might be asked to carry something quickly had to weigh up which was worse the smell of O’Shea or carrying the kits. He decided to let Faulkner carry everything, a decision that would later come to haunt him as he was lumbered with the filthy kit and the match report.
The squad was two men short Gogol was claiming of a poorly tummy (answers on a postcard what the real reason was). Fagan failed to get his priorities in order and made the poor decision that family comes before football. Luckily the rest of the squad arrived including the Willo’s who had now decided to dress exactly the same. The team got changed and were half way through a strenuous warm up of two runs across the pitch when Brown was seen running towards them having just survived a good telling off from the law. As everyone shouted trying to tell him the kits were in the changies, Brown simply felt everyone was waving at him and waved back with big smile on his face “they really do like me” he thought to himself. He then realised what was being said and shouted something in Geordie, probably “Wi Aye” or “Howay”.
The first half was a tightly fought game with both sides having chances and both goalkeepers playing a blinder! Two wonder free kicks brought a good save from both the goalkeepers and the crossbar. The first half ended in a stalemate and neither side deserved to go in a goal down. Mexoc, lacking of water stood on the sideline looking lost but buoyed by the superb first half performance, a mud-filled puddle has never looked so inviting.
Shortly after the start of the second half Faulkner substituted himself for Hudson whom everyone felt had a dismal first half performance as linesman, as he didn’t run to get the ball fast enough! Faulkner felt he could do a better job with the flag and thought Hudson was close to tears from the abuse, so brought him on.
Mexoc piled on the pressure and Jay Mac must have been daydreaming of the wonder goal Phillips scored last season, unfortunately for Mexoc they only had Smith to aim for. Mexoc pressured the Jay Mac goal and Smith popped up in the box to smash the ball home…. 1-0 Mexoc, to everyone’s surprise! Mexoc continued with the pressure and Warwick Davis picked up the ball on the Mexoc touchline. He stumbled through a couple of tackles and aimed to get a dangerous throw in, luckily for him the Jay Mac defenders fell to the floor and let him through. A miss-hit cross-managed to make it to the penalty area and was headed, presumably to safety. Unfortunately for Jay Mac O’Shea popped up still in shock from Warwick’s jinking run, with a wild swing of his right boot he smashed the ball home from 20 yards, or 48 yards if you ask him…2-0 Mexoc.
Jay Mac then started playing not even the referee calling one of them a baldy, fat c**t could stop them! The wind starting playing havoc to the Mexoc centre backs with a couple of loose balls flying over their heads. Tim pulled off a couple of unbelievable saves to deny Jay Mac but before Mexoc knew what had happened it was 2-2 and the pressure was building. Jay Mac were denied a stonewall penalty from D Willo (according to O’Shea) the only thing in their way was Tim who was putting in a true man of the match performance.
Thanks to Tim and some true guts from the rest of the team, Mexoc managed to hold on for a well fought draw, a good result only marred by the 2-0 lead that slipped away.
Paul Lewis
