Whitby Wizard’s Magic Shares the Spoils of
War!!!
(The Hero)
A magical display by pint sized Lee Brennan saw the Whitby ace come away with a brace and the accolade of – Best Free Kick in Ayton History (Inc Freddies vs Weaponess).
The Ayton Bulldogs were boosted by the news brought to them by team gaffer Jose Pluminho late Saturday evening. That news was broadcast live on Bulldogs TV - that a new hero had been unearthed, polished and looked set to be unleashed on the West Pier Penguins the following morning.
Crowds gathered in Brennans home town of Whitby as one of their own looked set to set sail down the A171 alone, ready to start a new soccer career. Women held aloft their babies as they tossed confetti and parmesan cheese at their departing hero as Brennan became the first soccer play ever to play out of town!
Pluminho had gathered a strong Bulldog outfit for this encounter as he knew the Penguins would do the same as the Aytoners form vs their opponents saw them looking at a row of straight L’s!
In came the giant like Tom Duckworth to the forward line, Moreno took his place at right back and there was a start for Timothy Hick at an unfamiliar role of – Left back! Hick looked nervous as Pluminho read out the team, sweat dripping down his ginger brow like Heather from Eastenders armpits during a hot summer’s day.
The game kicked off with the cat calls of “Come on Ayton” from Jon Hick on the sidelines. The recent mild weather had made the playing surface harder than Pete Glass after 2 Stellas (as Plumpton found out within minutes as he received a graze after a slide tackle). Frederiksen whipped out the harmonica to spur the Bulldogs on as it was obvious a few of the boys were slightly intimidated by the West Pier heroes there before them.
One hero who was causing up all sorts of a stir was that of Vernan Kay lookalike – Steven Dorey. The former Bulldog transferred to the Penguins pre season after a hugely successful career at The Kennels. Dorey left under a cloud of green mist with some sources within the club claim he had indeed been knocking off Brenda from the club behind the back of Ayton Stalwart Jonny Atkinson who coincidently left the country at the same time….
The Bulldogs finally settled and began to play some exquisite soccer as the front 3 of Brennan, Carter and Duckworth combined well and looked a threat every time they went forward. The 3 pronged front line who ironically form the 2nd, 3rd and 4th letter of the alphabet in numerical order were serving up a real treat for the 5 man strong Ayton travelling fans which made Jon Hick clap excitedly - seal like.
The strong Ayton team may well have become a strong attacking force but they could never underestimate the Penguins who boasted a rapid strike force of Neil Thomas and Mikey Barker. The latter shooting over an a number of occasions when maybe he should of done better. Pluminho’s recent ploy of insisting Goal Dweller Damon Gormley wears the Newcastle Keeper top that was once sported by Pavel Srnicek seems to be working a treat, as every attempt that did face him he managed to repel with his cat like reflexes and gym enhanced physique.
The first Bulldog chance came on 12 minutes as Howard Carter was sent scurring away down the right from a Carl Sample toe pung. Carter showed great athleticism and raw power to nudge aside his marker and wriggle the ball on to his left duke only 10 yards out from the goal line zone. Carter cranked back his left pegger and poofed a shot forward only to see it trickle straight in to the Penguin stoppers hands, much to his delight as he giggled uncontrollably. Great skilly by the Welshman however but sadly his finishing had let him down, just as his national team did the day before….
A missed header by Heggarty at the other end saw Thomas through on goal. Out came Gormly wielding nothing more than his fists as he let out a cry which was enough to reduce Thomas to tears as he shot wide when he really should have done better. Gormley flexed his upper body as he stood at the feet of the fallen Thomas – Thomas curled in to a ball for protection and that was the last we would see of him for the game as a goal threat as he made sure he never went near Gormley again, like many strikers before him.
The confidence was rising in the Bulldog camp - like the blue moon at Eastlands as they won a corner just before the half hour. Up went the big men, much to Plumptons disgust but it was no big man that met the curly swurly delivery from Brennan – it was Bywater rising highest at the back post. Up he lept as he gave the call of “Deanooooooo’s ball” only to see it headbutted tamely to the Pier keeper.
The pressure was building as again more tremendous soccer was being played throughout the Ayton team as midfield lynchpin Sample again set a forward clear with a long precision of a pass. Duckers was that forward and he collected the ball right of centre and began to weave his magic like a gangly Derron Brown. Finally after more tricks and turns than a Dancing on Ice final the ball flew pin point on to the head of Brennan who had ate up the ground to head smash his effort past the Pier keeper and send the Bulldogs 1-zip in front. A classic goal and a great start for Brennan in his career.
Jon Hick was delighted on the sidelines as touchline reporter Gail Hailstorm stopped him for a word on the new look Bulldogs. “This new boy is sensational. He reminds me of Carlos Tevez in his United days, I am almost certainly going to burn my Carter 10 shirt and replace it with that of Brennan No 8.” “Do u know if he is single?” Hick added whilst licking his pouting lips.
As the old saying goes “Your most vulnerable just after scoring” (as said by Graham Taylor in his Watford days) the Bulldogs conceded.
The Penguins had a secret weapon. That weapon was the long throw of Barker and the Bulldogs were struggling to cope. At the 3rd attempt the missile like throw in hurtled in to the heart of the Bulldog back line, Sample and Hegarty both looking to have the situation under their control.
Up went Sample awkwardly, looking like he had a large garden vegetable up his posterior. Just as the soccer looked set to strike his Barnett Hegarty gave the call for his ball. Sample was in two minds, just like Ronny in Eastenders over the stolen baby story line but unlike said story line – this was more serious. Our cpt marvel decided the head but was his as the ball brushed his wavy locks instead of his noggin. The touch took it over Hegarty who could only watch on in despair as the ball landed plum at the feet of a Penguin and he finished with ease to level the scores on 38 minutes.
A Bywater tame free kick from 20 yards was the only effort of note as the game became a midfield scrap for the remainder of the half. Bywater was up for the scrap as he got a Pier opponent in the leg lock, Pollard stone cold stunnered another and Sample looked to stamp his mark on the finishing stages with a fans favourite and his very own finisher – the nuggy.
Half Time
West Pier Penguins (1) v (1) Ayton Bulldogs
Pluminho let the boys know he was prouder than Peter Andre watching his son Junior bench press 20 kg for the first time at the age of 8. Instructions of – same again boys were passed on as the Bulldog teamtalk became drowned out by that of the Penguins and their gaffer Patrick Parke.
Parke was not happy. His team of superstars were bookies favourites to demolish the Bulldogs and he had 5 Grand on exactly that! So out went the instructions that he believed would change the game “Wingers I want you in 5 yards from the touchline, but make sure your ready to run right fast down said line if it comes you way. I want u to lock that ball in there and remember – its all about attitude!!” The penguins looked confused as they trotted off to their positions as the whistle lord blew to get the action under way.
Brennan was proving a real thorn to the Pier right side as his pace and movement left his defenders chasing shadows. His Bulldog fellow left sider Timothy Hick was thrilled at the sight in front of him as it meant he could relax for large periods of the game. The two linked well as hick sent forward a mammoth left foot kick down the touch line. Brennan raced clear with only the keeper to beat and sadly saw his lob fall the wrong side of the crossbar.
Hicks morning was about to take a turn for the worse however as the jet-heeled Barker left him in his wake and left our hero in need of his father to dig out the oxygen tent for his son to sit for a 5 minute time out. Plumpton was next to give chase to a similar long ball with again the same outcome, Barker raced clear only to see his attempt at goal fail to do any real damage as his shot came back off the bar and the chasing Bulldogs smothered up the danger.
Duckworth was linking the midfield and forwards well like a ghetto dealer providing the biz to his customers on every street corner. The Morrisons gaffer who is said to only answer to “your highness” in his local store was putting in his best shift in whilst wearing the Ayton Bulldogs colours. Duckworths many hours of keepy ups and step overs with the wife and kids was really impressing the Bulldogs faithful as they chanted his name in their droves.
The game was on a knife edge as both teams looked likely to break the deadlock, something had to give. Pluminho decided his best hope for the 3 points was Wallace on, Carter off, Frediesta on, Moreno off as he looked to push for the victory. The tactical masterstroke almost paid like William Hill to a Jack Willan bet as the Bulldogs got in down the right hand side. Brennan once again the danger man as he left his marker for dead only to see his effort come back off the goal tender. Wallace’s eyes lit up, it was his chance to be the hero as he strode forward on to the loose ball only 7.5 yards out from the pokey. What came next was a bar shattering strike as the match soccer boomed back from the Penguins crossy to the sighs of disbelief at the miss from players and fans a like.
The Bulldogs were still pressing as the game entered the last 15 as Wallace had a massive penalty shout turned away like Michelle McManus from a modelling agency.
This match was a real slobberknocker with the pittance of a crowd really getting their moneys worth as Barker nipped the ball round Hick as he let out the call of “see ya”. Once again Barker was only firing blanks as Hick keeled over and had to be revived by mouth to mouth from team Doc; Dr Leg. Hick had put a real shift in, one he will remember for a long long time!
The deadlock was finally broke as Plumpton’s throw from the left came back to the heart of the Bulldogs back line. Crys of “away” were yelled and Hegarty found himself in two minds. One of his minds was telling him Gormly and pass back was the best option, the other – smash it to high heaven! Sadly for the Bulldogs neither happened and the Penguin forward raced on to finish with ease, it was a cruel blow after a titanic effort from the boys.
A late rally and the entrance of Dorey for the Penguins saw the Bulldogs up their game. The mischievous Bywater in the engine room finding a new toy to play with as he used Dorey as his passing arc as he rolled the ball through his legs and crawled through himself to retrieve the ball at the other side. Dorey’s face was a picture as his eyes welled up at such an act.
It was entering hero time as the Flixton clock ticked to 88 minutes as Pollard was scythed down under a strong challenge 25 yards out. That hero was about to become an Ayton leg-end as Brennan puffed out his cheeks and placed the ball down with care and precision. A Jonny Wilkinson style 4 step run up and hand tilting combo was to come as Brennan let out a ferocious cry of “Freeeedoooooom” as he struck the ball with amazing power and accuracy.
Over the wall it flew, faster than the speed of sound, with more swerve than George Michael at the wheel of his Honda Civic after an afternoon in his local. The soccer crashed in to the top corner, the crowd went wild, the team went wild. Brennan was erect and he didn’t care who knew about it. What a debut by the Whitby Wizard!
The clock ticked down with both teams still marvelling at what they had seen as Bywater once again produced some naughtiness by beating Dorey in the air and wedgeying his thong to finish the battle.
There was only one place the Jon Hick MOM award was going at that was to the new boy; Lee Brennan. Hick reiterated his earlier stance and said “His performance has brought a real tear to my eye. I just wish I had met him before I met our lass”…..
