European Dream Lives on!
The Ayton Bulldogs booked their place in round 3 of the Europa Riding Cup after a tense 5-3 penno victory, the first penno victory in the clubs illustrious history!
The Bulldogs were boosted with the new signings of Roebuck and returning Uni drop out; Blake Nixon. Pluminho has been scouting the market intensely in recent weeks with no less than 6 new signings coming in through the Bulldogs revolving saloon doors.
The game followed recent form as the foreigners – Stokesley Starfish took an early lead on 8 minutes after a missed header in de-fence sent their forward scuttling through to finish past Nixon.
There were signs of a new Bulldog era as they actually passed the ball to a sexy upbeat JLS style tempo, something they have failed to do this season after previously opting for a Wimbledon ’88 hoof it tactic. Sadly a sloppy pass by new boy Roebuck left the Bulldogs in the shizzle and the score was quickly doubled to two points to neil on 15 mins.
An injury to big guns Ascough saw him crawl off the pitch in floods of tears. Early indications by club doctor – Doctor Pepper are “it looks like a muscle pull, which muscle I’m not sure, I know its in the region of his leg, a good session with me and the baby oil and ill make the lad reet” (Doctor Pepper featured right).
On came the returning solvent abusing Simon Rigg as he looked to form a formidable partnership with the aids ridden Neil Fraser. Carl Sample once again found himself taking up the central midfield birth next to Plumpton and he was quick to get in to the action as part of the move of the game.
21 mins in and Martin Atkinson decided it was time to take the game by the scruff of the neck as he played a neat one two with Plumpton left of centre. Plumpton found Sample who dashed down the wing leaving defenders in his wake, sparks shooting from the heels of his boots. Sample looked up and drilled over a cross that Pollard laid on unselfishly for Jamie Tyler to romp home and spark celebrations in the Bulldog camp.
Atkinson was everywhere as he expertly cleared the ball on to the Bulldogs post as gasps of “OG” rang around the ground. Atkinson also managed to clear the ball off the line with an incredible burst of acceleration, which earned him a half time upgrade to clean water in his water bottle, compared to the puddle water the rest of the Bulldogs make do with.
The Bulldogs tail’s were up as they sensed fear in the Starfish, who would not come close enough in fear they may touch them. For this reason the Bulldogs quickly brought the game square on 43 minutens. Jamie Tyler found space in the centre and released Pollard one on one. The Starfish keeper pulled off a smart save with the rebound emphatically finished by top marksman – Herd Carter who notched his 5th of the season in a lobbed goal scoring fashion.
Half Time
Ayton Bulldogs (2) v (2) Stokesley Starfish
An uncharacteristic injury to Simon Allen at half time saw the Bulldogs pressed in to a further change. Pluminho selected Dave Lovell only to be told by WWE fan Adam Linley “Theres no way in hell he’s coming on, this games a slobber knocker that punk aint joining.” Dave had in fact not been named in the refs book, so Wallace joined the fray as Tyler dropped in at Right De-fence.
The Bulldogs were as happy as Garry Glitter at a nursery open day as they played with a new sense of confidence, skill and of course bulldog passion. Jake Smart was seen taking the passion to a new level as he masturbated furiously during the next Bulldog attack.
Wallace skipped clear down the right, making an instant impact with his lightening Pikachu type pace; the defence couldn’t catch him as he whipped in a tantalising cross for Pollard. Pollard met it on the full, 6 yards out from the netted box and scored to take the Bulldogs in the lead for the first time this season!
The scenes around the Bulldogs ground – The Kennels, were a sight to behold as grown men were reduced to tears, children swang from trees and the Bulldogs WAG’s played nicely in the nearby play park as the newly found lead proved to be quite an emotional thing. The question was, could they hold on?
The Bulldogs were defending well as Fraser and Rigg were tighter than a ducks ass in water. The Bulldog’s sensed victory as the Starfish began to lose their heads.
Wallace was then sent clear one on one as his pace just couldn’t be handled. Wallace raced through bearing down at the Starfish goal tender, it was a battle of wits, minds, rock paper scissors and importantly a battle of who would be the winner! Sadly on this occasion the young Bulldogger smashed the post to smithereens. Pollard went close with the rebound as the Ayton outfit looked to put the Starfish to bed.
Dan Pollard was the next to go close as he shifted the ball on to his right peg fully 35 yards right of centre. Pollard unleashed a cannon ball of a strike which struck the bar with a force that has left the bar with a dent down the centre! So unlucky by the new striker.
With 10 minutes to play the Bulldogs were beginning to get penned in, under the cosh, backs against the wall, it was indeed squeaky bum time as a chance of victory was so close!
Everyone was giving their all when suddenly Tyler played a ball in to Fraser on the edge of the Ayton box. Fraser whipped out his superman mask, fixed it to his face and went on a mazy run. A run which was halted at the first obstacle, the striker! The Starfish forward giggled at Fraser’s attempted Maradonna turn and ran in to the box and levelled the game. The fellow Bulldoggers could be heard chuntering words such as “f*ck sake aids boy” and “u pale sh*t”
The Starfish continued to press as they struck the bar with 2 mins to go. This proved to be the last chance for both teams as the game went to penno’s.
Luckily the Bulldogs spent 20 mins at last weeks training session at their training base; Pindar Astro Arena practicing their spot kicks. It worked a treat as all 5 notched and Nixon became the hero saving one. A statue of Nixon is set to be erected at the Bulldogs Lair in the upcoming weeks.
The Man of the Match award as sponsored by Anal Bleaching firm – White Butt gave the award to Martin Atkinson for tearing up the left wing. Top premiership referee Harry Redknapp admitted his own left sided player Gareth Bale could learn a thing or two from the young Bulldoger!
(Martin Atkinson aka Gareth Bale)
