It's been a gut-wrenching pre-season at Victoria Rec for manager Clive Butler and the behind the scenes team. For managers from Exeter to Aberdeen, the stress of who's coming, who's going and who's going to be waiting at the training ground when that under-the-radar foreign signing arrives for the medical is simply too much to handle. For Clive Butler, the pressure has been more around how to get his side competing in the league above following last year's promotion with a squad containing less fresh faces than an EastEnders Christmas special.
The transfer window slammed shut on Tuesday with the only loss to the squad being Michael Harvey to The Plough. In a sickening double blow, the last minute attempted loan signing of Ulysses De La Cruz was blocked due to work permit issues which in turn meant that Charlotte Jackson of Sky Sports News wasn't gracing the Victoria Rec with her presence (and impressive vital statistics).
Knowing full well about this bitter disappointment, local rookie journalist Thom Drake tipped Tilehurst YM to finish bottom of the league. In the same breath, he admitted he fancied Southbank to finish 5th and potentially challenge for the title. With this in mind it's no wonder the St Michael's Terrace Massive were nervous ahead of today's curtain opener.
The Tilehurst fanatics' worst fears looked to be coming true when just 10 minutes into the game, Mr Wales 2009 Mark Tancock was floored after a sickening (yet unfortunate) clash of heads with Southbank's Miguel Frade. The only sounds to be heard were the sharp intakes of breath from the modelling agencies watching, promptly followed by the sound of modelling contracts being torn up quicker than Harvey Price opening his birthday presents. Unfortunately, Tancock was knocked out cold by the collison after taking it on the chin literally. We understand he's now had 10 stitches in hospital and is keeping his chin up. Fraude however, applied some vaseline to his gash and battled on in Terry Butcher/Paul Ince style - but today was not to be his version of Rome 1997 for Ince.
In a brave move, Butler sent on Matthew Gill for his first game in 5 years. He's rapidly earnt the name "glassman" for his ability to pick up injuries more frequently than Darren Anderton, Kieron Dyer and Owen Hargreaves combined. This also forced Butler's hand into sending centre half James Williams up front.
The first half was largely uneventful - 2 honest sides playing some good football but battling with the on/off nature of the conditions and a whistle happy referee. Southbank applied good pressure and Bobby Buck had to be sharp on a couple of crosses to ensure there were no spillages with Southbank's attackers ready. Mike Shanks was industrious in defence and Joe Edwards & Mark Harding combined well in midfield in a blossoming partnership dubbed the new Pires and Vieria.
Shortly after the interval, Tilehurst YM conceded what looked a soft penalty. Despite Bobby Buck's best efforts to make the goal look small, the Southbank striker slotted the ball home for them to take the lead 1-0.
Tilehurst YM's heads dropped, tackles begun to fly in and an element of Scotland syndrome started to kick in. Like the sweaties yesterday, Tilehurst YM had conceded a soft penalty and then been denied what looked a clear cut penalty after Richard Godfrey was brought down in the area.
Midway through the second half, Southbank failed to clear a Harding corner which fell to Matthew Gill on the edge of the area. A first touch so bad that Marlon King is said to have called and asked for it back sent Gill towards the right hand side of the penalty area before he cut back inside and drifted a cross right into the mixer. This took a load more wrap than planned and found the Southbank keeper stranded with concrete boots as he could only watch the ball nestle into the top corner.
1-1 and scenes of elation on the touchline as Matthew Gill celebrated with the RG30 faithful in style. From here on in, there was clearly going to be one winner as Tilehurst YM pushed forward in search of the winner in the driving rain. With the clock ticking and the smell of roast dinners being cooked from the surrounding houses descending on the hallowed turf, Richard Godfrey snuck in to divert a Mark Harding cross goalbound within the 6 yard box in the 85th minute. The celebrations were so wild they made the overthrowing of Saddam Hussein in Iraq look like my Nan's tea party as Godfrey disappeared under a pile of black and yellow shirts, supporters and springer spainels.
Southbank rallied hard, hitting the post late on but Tilehurst YM held on for the win and thoughts immediately turned to Reading Post's Drake with the supportes tauntingly singing "Are you watching Thommy Drake?"
To win the lottery, you've got to buy a ticket. With his brave substitutions today, Butler ensured that the underdog came out on top. The winning ticket was theirs and Tilehurst YM begin the season as Underdog Millionaires.
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