Emiliano Geddes and his gang of Zapatistas rode into town today determined to bring a brand of Central American soccer the like of which has never been seen in the Old Boys league before! Santiago Hedges then rallied the pisteleros with his 'Better to die on your feet than live a lifetime on your knees!' speech and so the fight for land and liberty began!! And not even the interfering whistle of the referee could stop the Bandidos marching on to Victory!! When the tortilla chips are down is when the Business School come back strongest!!
The game started with Man of the Match Connor Machin marshaling his defence like an Admiral on the poop deck of a Destroyer! Jason Zapitista ably assisted at the heart of defence and Billy Zapatista launched missiles down the touchline. Geddes in nets started slowly, spilling shots before growing in confidence and becoming less suspect as the game went on. Harry Fernandez Zapatista played the holding role in midfield as GI Blackshore bullied the opposition like Charles Bronson let loose on the nonce wing of HMP Gartree!! After 20 minutes the gaffa was all puffed out and thinking of a deep pan large Hawaian so subbed himself for the silver fox Mark Harrison. The Peterborough Pirlo came on and did the perfect impression of Dr Brady the Invisible Man!! A perfect move from the back saw 4 players play 1 touch football that ended with the Economists by the Alsop corner flag. The Mexican Revolutionaries were purring and a turn and run down the left from Martino Larkin led to a pass into the 6 yard box that Blackshore threw his bulk at. The ball spilled out and Michael Digga Dinn lashed the ball home to end his injury hit Hell!! HALF TIME : BUSINESS ALSOP 0!!
At the break reinforcements turned up in the case of Javier Almond Doherty as he came on for the incredible shrinking Naylor. Meanwhile Speedy Ted Gonzales came on for Digga Dins poorly calf! The game got stretched and Tom and Ted the flowerpot men marauded down the wing. Larkola turned his man inside out and lashed a shot high over the bar. Alsop fought back hitting the bar and the BSFC were living dangerously. But then up popped The Bradissimo on the edge of the box. He brought the ball down and lashed it into the top corner!! The crowd went wild and Sombreros filled the air! Hedges asked the referee how long left and was told the number 7!! A Len Goodman impression retort and the Rainman ref burst into song with a rendition of the Strictly Come Dancing theme music! The childlike Goonies Sloth booked Doherty for time-wasting and Blackshore was sinbinned for 10 minutes with only 4 minutes left on the clock!! A dubious penalty was awarded in the last minute but the Business School held on and Conquest was Ours!!! FINAL SCORE: BUSINESS SCHOOL 2 ALSOP 1!!!
STOP PRESS:
TED GONZALES ADMITS HE IS THE LOVE CHILD OF 60S COMIC CHARLIE DRAKE!!! (GOOGLE HIM YOUNGSTERS!!)
SIMON NAYLOR REPORTED TO LANCASHIRE POLICE FOR NICOLA BULLEY HATE CRIMES!!!
BRADLEY BLACKSHORE SPEAKS OUT!! 'I'M NO ANTI RETARD!! I WILL HAVE YOU KNOW SOME OF MY BEST FRIENDS ARE SPAZAS!! ?????
