'A man's reach should exceed his grasp!' said Arsene Hedges as his Team realised an Heroic Failure today at the Mersey Road Arena!! And Nobody encapsulated this more, than Man of the Match Little Jimmy Ramsdale who pulled off the saves of the season only to snatch Defeat from the Jaws of Victory!! But never again will the opposition think they can walk all over the Business like Mistress Mandy trampling on a punters plums in her 6 inch Louboutins!!!
Everyones Spirits were lifted as The Doherty turned up before kickoff to demote Hedges to the bench! A solid start ensued as Crumpet and Jason Z played the ball out from the back and Jackson threw his body into tackles. The game was finely balanced until referee Gerry McCann gave a soft penalty for a Crumpet interception. Up stepped the Orange man's flag bearer who hit the ball towards the corner! But Geddes dived left and tipped it round the post! Players mobbed their hero as the crowd burst into song, ' Bicester Boys, are on a bender, Jimmy Saville is a Sex Offender!' 5 minutes later and the ref gave another penalty for pushing. And yet again Geddes tipped past the post! The crowd went delirious as the BSFC keeper had singlehandedly kept his team in the match! HALF TIME: BUSINESS 0 ACOL 0!!!
At half time the Tinman oiled up his joints and threw himself into the fray! He played some accurate balls down the right wing before tragedy struck and he tore his ACL!!!. Hodder finally got into gear and outfought his opposite number on the left and put passes on a plate. Up front Sweet Georgie Roper ran his legs off as if being chased by Phillip Schofields brother! ACOL struck first blood converting a ball off Jacksons head! BUSINESS 0 ACOL 1! But minutes later the whistle happy ref awarded the Rossineri a penalty. Up stepped Martin Larkin looking like an extra from The Hills Have Eyes and scuffed his shot into the bottom corner! BUSINESS 1 ACOL 1! Game on!! The born again Christians hit back to make it 2 - 1 ACOL but this new look BSFC never know when they are beaten. Reliability Roberts came on up front to link up play and Hedges made a cameo. Larkin was on fire hitting a free kick inches past the post and then sent a De Bruynesque cross onto Ashley's head that he angled just wide! Then up stepped Jason Zapata who made a goal line clearance on the line followed by a melee at the other end and a toepoke through a crowd of players! BUSINESS 2 ACOL 2 with 30 seconds on the clock! With the last kick of the game ACOL launched a hopeful shot on goal that caught the wind and slipped through Geddes fingers! The Business School keeper had lost us the game but was still hailed a Hero by every last fan in the Stadium, in the Match of the Season!! FULL TIME: BUSINESS SCHOOL 2 ACOL 3!!!
STOP PRESS:
HARRY S. CRUMPET ARRESTED AFTER KRAZY GOLF PLAYDATE WITH LITTLE SHANNON MATTHEWS!!!
NSPCC INVESTIGATE GARRIOCK FOR CHILD NEGLECT, AS COACH TED G. DEVELOPS A PULMONARY EDEMA WATCHING FOOTBALL IN THE RAIN!!!
JEHADI WAR BRIDE MOMMY SOPER, LEAVES BABY GEORGE IN TEARS TO FIGHT IN HOLY WAR!!
