Following the newly formed disciplinary stance of the Allsorts - the lads turned up late to the fixture, but were raring to get started. Further controversy surrounded the club which resulted in Dom 'Tonka' Jarrett being fined a further two weeks wages for a twitter outburst regarding his pre match routine. His second fine in two weeks.
Due to the lack of a pitch, the warmup consisted of the usual South American kickups routine which quickly turned to a farce when Chris 'Wacko' Mitchell decided to hit the ball over the fence.
The opposition of the day eventually turned up and announced to the ref that they had been drinking at Wemberly all day. Presumably they weren't involved in any play-offs but this is yet to be confirmed.
With Jimi 'Who?' Mitchell on a scouting mission in Germany, Andy 'Top goalscorer' L'Strange slotted into the centralised striker role. Perhaps due to some early nerves and fear of the opposition, the Allsorts setup in a defensive formation and encouraged early pressure from the Rhinos. Dom and Sam slotted in alongside Chris in an attempt to sure up the defence and provide an outlet for counter attack.
Unfortunately this didnt really work that well as Simon 'Neville Southall' Bushell was called into action on successive occasions as the Rhino's utilised neat passing and a few runs to get around the labouring Allsorts. Some of the shots were described as 'unsavable' but were saved by Bushell repeatedly. The spectator was convinced one was going in, but it didn't.
Once The Allsorts picked up on their usual high-pressure , high-line game chances were created with Dom making a trademark 'going no-where' run past two Rhino's into the corner which resulted in..... a corner. On this occasion he kicked it straight into the goalkeepers gloves, but the next time Sam 'takes corners' Mayes stepped up and passed straight to L'Strange who finished neatly off the post.
1-0 up and looking strong, confidence oozed from The Allsorts, with plenty of neat passes and runs. Unfortunately I have very little recollection of our second goal as perhaps I was looking the other way, but Adam 'Adamsy' Sayers assured me he setup the second. In which case Adam passed the ball to Andy who again finished past the Orange Rhino who was their goalkeeper.
Disaster struck mid-way through the first half when Sam went in for a tackle on the Rhino's full back - he screamed! The fan looked shocked! The ref looked the other way! What was wrong with him - broken leg/metatarsal/sprained ankle? We will never know as he got back up and started running around again. The Allsorts disciplinary record was once again being questioned......
The second half saw the Rhino's put up more of a fight meaning that Chris was called into action on successive occasions. His block tackles and hard challenges were met with delight by the fan. Dom - perhaps feeling the effects of his earlier roast dinner and ale consumption slotted in alongside Chris to try and provide cover in the hope that Sam, Andy and Adam could provide the attacking threat from the left side.
There were a few missed chances for the Allsorts in the second half, something of a trademark - but defensively the Allsorts looked solid with a single outside-of the post strike being the Rhino's best chance.
The Allsorts were pleased with a great result and clean sheet for Man of the Match Goalkeeper Bushell - pictured here not in goal.
In the post-match conference questions were asked of Jimi's goalscoring record and sudden departure for Germany, the manager declined to comment and said this 'We are unsure whether Jimi would have scored the goals that Andy did, Jimi is in Germany on a scouting trip and I can neither confirm nor deny that he is looking for his own replacement'
Next up it's AKA The Stig which kicks off at 8pm this Sunday.
