The late kickoff for this game left a few of the lads feeling unsettled. All had prepared with vairous activities including, sun bathing, golf and playing football with a dog.
Questions were being asked of the management as to why top goalscorer - highest rated player and the player with the most assists was dropped. The management responded with 'He's a ringer and we aren't that sort of team, unless we need him in which case we are'
Unfortunately none of these activities prepared the Allsorts for what was their worst performance to date (yes that includes the 2-1 win over TGTBT).
Straight from the kick off The Stigs brought the game to the Allsorts - prior to kick off the team huddle concluded with the Allsorts aiming to play high pressure but this failed to materialise. Within the first five minutes the ball had been given away multiple times with poor passing and the high pressure tactics The Stigs deployed made the Allsorts visibly shaken.
A formation change was required with Dom 'Smallsy' Jarrett dropping in at the back and Adam 'Adamsy' Sayers sitting infront of Chris 'Wacko' Mitchell, leaving Jimi 'also Smallsy' Mitchell up top with Sam 'Mayes' playing down the left.
Fortunately for The Allsorts the Stigs' shooting was wayward, a few shots left the complex completely and the ones on target were saved by Bushell who started well once again. With the new formation, The Allsorts settled better, with a couple of runs and chances.
However in the 10th minute a ray of sunlight as Sam 'Mayes' ran down the left and in his words 'unleashed a 30yard Screamer' which burned the keepers gloves and fell through into the net.
In reality it was a slightly scuffed shot from 17yards that the keeper sort of scooped into his own net. Sam erupted in celebration shouting 'YES COME-ON!' and proceeded to run to the corner flag in celebration. The remainder of the team looked down at the floor and even turned their backs in embarassment. Skipper Chris summed it up by saying 'it's going to be a long 30minuntes'.
At half time Dom, and Chris could be seen attempting to drive Chris's Ferrari ('There's a Magnum in the Ferrari babes') onto the field of play - furiously waving at the ref asking whether the substitute could be brougt on - but unfortunately they couldn't get in prime position right infront of the box. As a result Dom and Chris simply parked themselves infront of the box and awaited the onslaught.
The second half wasn't pretty with The Allsorts seemingly unable to string the usual nice passing moves together but were able to cancel out a few of The Stigs' passages of play. Bushell made a few good saves and one really interesting save with what has been described as 'The slowest dive since records began', another point of note was the keeper and Dom shouting 'Safe' only for the ball to hit the inside of the post. (still safe) The Stig's shooting was not dialed in any better than the first half with two balls being booted out of the Tony Benson & Ron Hedges arena - this was a let off.
In the final ten minutes The Stig's winger received the ball out on the right, as the defence moved in to close him down he took a first time curled shot which went straight into the right hand corner of the goal - a great effort leaving Bushell with no chance.
Chris & Dom decided that we should 'go for this' and get the win. This meant leaving the moaning Dom at the back to mop up as Chris charged on to try and get the winner. The best chance of the second half fell to Jimi who with space and a 1on1 opportunity scuffed his shot into the keepers hands - an unusual occurence for the usually prolific (0 goals in 3 games) striker who is beginning to look like one time signing 'Rufus Smalls'.
With ten seconds left Sam attacked down the left and slotted the ball in - The whistle had unfortunately blown, the goal didnt count.....In the words of the Skipper 'We were robbed'. The sell out crowd of 2 was not convinced.
Overall a poor performance but The Allsorts still picked up points, they always say that is the sign of a true Championship winning Team! However the rest of the league is beginning to give The Allsorts the title of '6-aside Stoke' and with Tony Pullis watching on from the stands.....who knows what will happen?
The day after the performance to apologise to the fans the lads could be seen running an 'open training session'. With beers in hand they practiced kick-ups, The Stoke Ball, Crosses (always useful on a 6-aside pitch) and 'first time volleys'. Within half an hour the entire park was empty.
Roll on next week 6pm VS The Diamonds - already being tipped as a must-win game.
