Another summer over. The slate wiped clean. After an industrious campaign culminating in a strong end to the season the sky blues were back. Atholl had returned.
The preparation started the day before, my decision to buy new boots didn’t come lightly. After a solid debut season I would have been forgiven if I had stuck with the old adidas kaiser’s but I wanted to be prepared this season. At this point I had no idea how valuable this decision would be. The excitement grew as I stood in front of the great wall of right boots, pondering which piece of footwear would be worthy to grace my agile but rotund toes. Rumours of old predators were rife, crowds gathered as I approached boot after boot, obligatory bending of the toes, pretending that I knew why. A gasp was heard as I lingered near a neon yellow umbro, murmurs of Andy Samworths name shook me out of the glowing trance. Then I saw it. ‘30% off’. It was my calling card. I rushed towards the Copa Mundials, barging Crouch and Lallana out the way. I asked the sports direct clerk for a tricky size 10.5, I stressed the importance of his quest, the history of Atholl, the pedigree of this great illustrious club. With a silent, intense nod he scuttled to the warehouse. The following seconds felt like years, beads of sweat emerged on my brow, the countdown clock was approaching the final dong, the clerk appeared, box in hand, relief. A successful trial prompted a swift purchase and a jog to the train station to leave sunny Farnborough for another week. A few Becks blues later and I’m in bed, sober, hydrated and ready.
The sound of chirping birds arose me from my slumber. It was 9:15AM, plenty of time to get ready for the big game. I had offered a lift to the Atholl elite and Dav so I had to leave promptly but I still had a couple of hours to kill. The first 30 mins was spent on the toilet, watching the hilariously repetitive Ice bucket challenges on my phone and checking the team news for the less important games of the day. Once I was empty I showered away any filthy residue, I was lighter, cleaner and awake. A pot of coffee had been brewed by my mistress, whilst I sunk into the first mug she laced my left boot. I took the Mundials into the garden for their first grass test, a impressive feat of 7 kick-ups confirmed my delight in my purchase. 11am. I had a second mug of coffee whilst waiting for a sign to let me leave the house, ‘Chris, come help me pick curtains for the bedroom’, god had spoken and I was on my way out the flat.
The first football drive of the season, new abodes for the passengers ensured my sat nav worked properly. Joe B and Chris picked up on time and successfully, next stop Davs. We arrived 5 minutes later than anticipated, hoping Dav would be ready. This was a warm up for when the season starts, too many fantasy points were lost due to Davs tardiness, I had warned him to be ready and left him an empty threat that I would leave without him. His lack of preparation was evident; he was still eating breakfast as we arrived. To quote the great Confucius ‘Success depends upon previous preparation, and without such preparation there is sure to be failure’. If Confucius was a betting man he would have had a bucket full of Renminbi coming his way. Once Dav joined us in the car a short trip north to the prison gates followed.
My energy and excitement was high, I was changed in record time and helped Carl hang the nets so we could start a warm up. After a shooting session Jeff took us for military training session, making sure all those summer cobwebs were dusted away. The team news was in, Carl, Joe B, Dav, Ed, Chris R, Angelo, Ciaran (C), Pete, Will, Chris D, Jeff. Subs, Hudson, Mo, Alex.
KICK OFF.
A solid 5 minutes of passing and pressing soon turned into unwanted pressure from the away team. Bouncing high balls were awkward for the defence to deal with, nervousness was evident and we had little conviction in clearances. Atholl struggled to retain possession and some poor defending allowed a midfield runner to score with an assured finish, giving Carl no chance. We showed glimpses of quality, mainly when we passed the ball on the deck, with Joe B epitomising this. Jeff and Angelo have decent chances but miss the target. The pressure from the away side grew and another fine finish put them 2-0 up. We were looking all out of sorts but still had a couple of opportunities, one of which Chris D skewed wide. We slowly got to grips with the game and by half time we looked more solid but trailed 2-0.
HALF TIME TEAM TALK
Ciaran, Jeff and Dav led the team talk, all echoing, reiterating, repeating, each others sentiments in slightly different words. A master class in team talks which pumped up the lads for the second half. A few changes were made, putting Will and Chris D in centre midfield and bringing on subs.
*As I can’t remember some parts of the game there may be some embellishment.
SECOND HALF
The midfield partnership worked instantly, the impressive Will received a flick from Chris, and he ran with the ball, skipping passed a couple of players, before *doing a summersault with the ball locked between his feet, his mid air bicycle kick was foiled by the keeper only for the powerhouse Jeff to follow up and apply a deadly finish, picking up from where he left off last season. 2-1. Atholl began to dominate *Carl had an audacious effort from his 6 yard box tipped over the bar by their keeper.
We were awarded a free kick about *35 years out, after some fine free kicks in the warm up, Chris D stood over the ball. One thing in his mind, find that top corner. Memories of David Beckham VS Greece tore through the stadium as Chris took his run up, the ball flew through the air, curling at speed, smashed into the back of the net, the fans went wild. 2-2. We looked solid and were applying pressure, only something drastically unbelievable could halt our momentum, we were certain to score next.
‘Success depends upon previous preparation, and without such preparation there is sure to be failure’.
The away team have a rare foray into our half, the cross comes in, luckily none of the opposition players are in the box, ample defence to gather and clear the ba…. No wait, what’s just happened?! Dav inexplicably pushes the ball wide with his hand, flashbacks to the volleyed back pass to Carl from last year are shown on the big screen, he’s at it again. Penalty. Coolly slotted away. 2-3.
We quickly gain out composure and a neat passing move out of defence lands to Chris on the half way line, he passes a through ball to Will who outpaces the away teams defenders and slots beyond the keeper. 3-3. *Will continued his fine form with a text book FIFA goal, he pressed X, X, X, Δ, left analogue, L1 + Δ, O + L2, followed by a shoe shining celebration. Lovely stuff. The goals begin to flow, Chris lays the ball into Will and carries on his run, Will produces a defence splitting back heel, taking two defenders out of the game, and Chris curls the ball first time into the opposite top corner than his free kick. 5-3. Sumptuous play. The defensive display in the second half had been solid, Ciaran impressing a Centre half, Joe B and Mo excelling at full backs. We had a few scares where the over zealous Pete used his Zeus like strength to give away a couple of free kicks within shooting distance. The shots missed the target but Carl had them covered anyway.
*Tireless running by Hudson and Jeff tore their defence apart allowing for the pre-rehearsed flying V (reworked from the play made famous in the mighy ducks), Pete was the spearhead, behind him we Ed and Carl, behind them Ciaran and Dav, neat interchanges between the 5 of them confused the opposition, the ball finally landing at Pete’s feet ready for him to strike, only for a chant of ‘Quack! Quack! Quack! Quack! Quack! Quack!’ to put him off, Pete mishit the ball turned to chanting Gordon Bombay and exclaimed he is a ‘F*cking Pudding’.
The final goal then somehow went in off Jeff’s arse. 6-3.
Chris Davies was awarded Man of the match, owed all down to that decision to buy new boots. He was interviewed after the game, ‘Yeah it’s great to get MOM but it’s a team effort, as long as I can help the team win that’s all that matters. I’ll keep trying to score but as long as we’re doing well I’m happy. I’ll just keep working hard and take it from there. We aren’t allowed to think about promotion, we’re just focused on the next match, take one game at a time.’.
A fantastic result and great second half performance, a great position to build from.
COOOMEEE OONNNN YOOOOOUUUU BBLLLLUUUEEEESSSS!!!!
