The stage was set as the curtains closed on what has been a brief yet impactuous debut season in PowerPlay's Premier Division for Tainted Quim FC. Conditions were almost perfect on this cool but slightly breezy October evening, on the contrary to the suprisingly warmer and wetter weather we have experiencing recently for this time of year. Tonight Quim were up against a team that wouldn't have looked out of place tearing down trees for Saroman, in Eight Ash Green Spartans. Quim had been dealt a major blow in losing Stretch to the common car door injury - you know the ones, and Cooke replaced Punshon on wet flannel duties this week travelling up to London to cuddle the Mrs - rumours circulating around the daily mail this morning have suggested that Sophie Mathias had been spotted crawling the gutters of Colchester last night and this spontaneous trip may have been out of guilt. Tainted Quim FC have remained tight lipped on the topic, refusing to comment, preferring to do their talking on the pitch. These absences paved the way for the return of team hardman Chris PalmertheLAD, ever reliable Centre Back Punshon, and delighted to say providing a debut for Mr Essex himself Sam "Bomber" Beaumont. Big performances were needed from all the lads as future in the Premier Divison rested on tonights fixture.
Perhaps big game nerves, state of the opposition's faces, or the slightly cooler temperature than expected for October took the team by surprise and had a detrimental effect on Quim's start to the match. As has been a regular flaw in each of Quim's previous fixtures, the boys went 1-0 down within the first few minutes. Eight Ash Green whatevers broke on the counter unsettling keeper Matters, who may or may not still had the remnence of a couple of dodgy tic tacs left in his system, and scuffed the ball into the corner. Quim made it even harder for themselves when EAGW added a second to their tally, again, with some sort of accidental goal.
Frustration was clearly evident amongst the ranks, with each player voicing their frustrations at half time. Quim remained positive, however, and started the second half with a far greater tempo, pressing high and forcing the ugly cunts into greater mistakes than seen in the first half. This presurgence paid off, assist king Williams releasing debutant Beaumont who turned beautifully, not too dissimilar to Bergkamp's against Newcastle other than perhaps maybe better? and rifled the bottle with his left foot into the roof of the net. It's movements like that which clearly demonstrate how this young lad has got to where he is in the Colchester nightlife scene, most recently collaborating with Theo Belvediere Sowmuni for what i'm told is going to be a night to rival Phillip Morant School Prom's afterparty.
Quim really needed to push on from here but struggled, and were dealt a sucker punch when one of the little goblins went down the other end and scored after what was clearly, to anyone with eyes, a foul on top goalscorer Frost. Frustration had crept into Quim's place once again, with the ever flamboyant and cheating Williams pulling off some quite outrageous dives to get his side back in the game, and team hardman PalmertheLAD having to refrain from having a tear up with Gimli's brother. Quim were trying almost anything to get back into this game, with Frost coming back on for about the eighth time in order to try breathe some new life into the team.
Alas, it wasn't to be, and Quim must now wait on the result of Lexden Athletico's fixture against Exeter Gently to find out the fate of where they will be playing their football next season. On reflection, skipper Williams had this to say off the back of a mixed season for his side: "Well Jeff plenty of positives to take from the season, it's early days in the development of this young side and I feel we can go onto achieve great things once we find our footing in this league. Obviously it's disappointing not t come away from this league further up the division but plans are in place, and I feel as a young side we can go on leaps and bounds. We've got good investment from Bomber's dad so i'll be looking to dip into the transfer funds if i can but, if not, I believe we've got all the makings of a title winning side with the players at my disposal, and that presergatism is shared amongst all the players."
