Tainted Quim FC were looking to bounce back this week after a truly shocking performance against Matt Miller FC. Quim welcomed the return of team hardman Chris Palmer, however were dealt a blow losing in-form Stretch for unnamed reasons...the plot thickens...and ARV Matters to a cocaine-fuelled sesh up in Reading. The team lined up with Darkins in goal, Williams and Punshon at the back, with Beaumont and PalmerTheLad in more advanced midfield roles. Spirit was high in camp, the sheer level of bounce in 'keeper Darkins' hair seemed to bode well for the team. Noticeably, the team were lacking a sub, a few confident glances were exchanged between the present players however suggesting "don't worry, it's Daryl, he's notoriously reliable and would never let the side down", oh how we laughed at the prospect of Daryl not showing up at all! Ha ha even now as I write the idea seems utterly proposterous.
Clearly, Quim entered this game with greater belief and desire to make up for their weak start to this seasons campaign. After endless discussions with his backroom staff (Dave) throughout the week, skipper Williams felt a more direct approach to this game would be beneficial. Unsurprisingly, he got it spot on. Rather than playing from the back, brick shithouse Punshon looked to get the ball forward to the technically sound Beaumont, Palmer and Williams rotating in the more advanced positions. The lads were plucking balls from the sky, caressing them into their stride more gently than Darkins' fingerwork with Heaffey back in college ;) :p. Alas, Quim were to go 1-0 down to some rebounded effort, however moral and focus remained high, with some of the lads even exchanging a few more giggles over the ridiculous concept of Daryl not turning up and massively letting the side down.
Quim sparked into life and bounced back with aplomb. Some neat work out wide from Palmer allowed talismanic skipper Williams to rifle home with his left foot into the bottom corner. Fucking game on. What was unbeknown to the Quim players, however, was that this majestic swing of the left peg triggered some level of discomfort for the lad - a posioned challice if you will. Being the warrior that he is, and how much he has put into this side, Williams battled on. Suddenly, disaster struck. The groin went. Williams was down. Initially, the players feared the worst, but "aha!" they thought, "don't worry boys we'll just sub him off for Da...". The lads exchanged some befuddled looks, still no sign of Daryl or his ghetto booty. Was this a mistake? Could he really have driven all the way to Shrub End and suddenly realised, "blast, i didn't bring my football boots!". Personally I travelled back and forth between shrub end and home three times before I eventually remembered my boots. Classic mistake!
The lads went into half time one a piece with Williams having to replace Darkins in goal. Not only had we they lost the guyle and finesse of Williams out pitch but they had lost Darkins in goal who had pulled off some quite outrageous saves, tipping one on to the bar proving his inherent cat-like flexibility, reminiscent of Lukas Fabianski in the Carling Cup against Wigan a few years back. Spirit remained high, with Quim knowing that they had to deal with the obstacle in front of them, in what would surely be an almighty uphill struggle in the second half. What came next was 16 minutes of bravery, fortitude, passion, desire, structural discipline, and most importantly, hearty hearty quim. The work ethic of the team coupled with some individual Messi-like brilliance from Beaumont up top would have left the Tainted Quim forefathers beaming with pride.
Even in this game of twists and turns, what came next could not have been foreseen by the most outlandish of gamblers. Ever the arcitect, with some neat dribbling out on the right had side Beaumont managed to maneouvre himself some space to slot the ball into of...wait...hold on...who's this storming forward from the back?! Keeper come box to box midfielder Darkins had not been tracked, and with blood streaming from his nose he notched the ball with one of the wekest shots we're likely to see through the hapless Alt FC's keepers' legs. Speaking to the jubilant media wiz after the game he had this to say: "Well skip even the greatest need a little luck sometimes. My celebrations were muted as I sympathise with a keeper making a howler, having been there on many occasions myself. But i'm just happy to help the team overall, and today we were unlucky so we'll get our heads down this week, and cime back next week stronger and better".
Sadly, with a practically paralysed goalkeeper, the mighty Quim were always going to struggle to keep the scores level and Alt FC managed to edge their way to a narrow 3-2 victory, largely due to the fact that they had a sub...Quim can take a lot from this performance, however, with solid performances all round from the lads (who turned up). With skipper Williams set to have a spell on the sidelines for at least a month, places will be up for grabs but it will be hard to look past the lads who played tonight for starting places next week. Onwards and upwards
#upthequim
