So after a week of walking around like a 90 year old and moaning to anyone who would listen about aches and pains, the second game of the season approached.
After a last minute drop out from Justin, manflu no doubt, STC started with a similar 11 to that which was victorious in last weeks opener. The only change being the introduction of Fireman Sam, sorry Steve, for the Headteacher, who was busy supervising a school trip to the Tate for his year 10 class. On the bench a returning Hooky, there goes the peace and tranquillity of the previous week, and Deano, arriving late due to train problems. Well do your job properly Mr Network Rail…. So a strong 13 to welcome the visiting Avery Hill.
The game started a frantic pace, end to end, which was going to continue throughout the game. STC started the brighter and took a deserved lead when Slim, who could not hit a barn door last week, letting fly from 30 yards and finding the top corner. 1-0 STC and a smug looking Slim. Shortly after, a speculative through ball made its way to the opposition left midfielder inside the box who in process of shooting wide was upended by Andy. Penalty given, albeit to the protestations of one Mr Lawrie who was resembling a growling bear insisting he ‘never touched him’. The penalty was fluffed in true Chris Waddle style, blazing wider and over, so justice done, and Paddington began to calm down, albeit with a jar of honey.
Not long after it was 2, a great move involving both the Kehinde brothers. Josh picked the ball up and played a quick one two with his BIG brother Shegs, before slotting into the bottom right corner, off the inside of the post. See what happens when you turn up on time Josh……
Not long after it was 2-1. A speculative long ball was allowed to bounce and the Avery Hill forward made no mistake, but that the finish was from inside the 6 yard box, makes this writer question the goalkeeper still being on his line. A theme that was to continue into the 2nd half. It turned out after in the bar that Jordan was indeed spotted outside Paddy Power, placing a bet on the way to the ground. One small incident to add, was the penalty miss. By Slim. But enough of that, writers prerogative.
The second half started with an incident of pure comedy and one that had this write in stitches, laughing so hard, a little bit of pee came out. When challenged on why he wasn’t running the channels, Roberts answer was, and I quote ‘My cock keeps falling out, it won’t stay in my pants’. So Lee, were you wearing Hooky’s special briefs again. Speaking of which, the return of Hooky was short lived, lasting a mere 5 minutes. But what a 5 minutes, lots of noise, touches of Carlton Palmer class, tackles resembling Gary Lineker and passing of Tony Adams.
Soon after the break it was 2-2, with a break down the right, the ball was crossed over into the 6 yard box, yes the 6 yard box again with a the keeper sticking on his line like a flapping fly on a piece of Velcro, and the Avery Hill forward tapped.
STC continued to push, and looked dangerous coming forward, with the brothers out wide adding pace against some ageing full backs, Roberts running forward like Forrest Gump but never running back, (well his cock was hanging out after all) and Gav and Scotty starting to take control of the midfield.
STC re-took the lead, Slim hounding the centre backs who took too long on the ball, Slim robbed the defender and ran through unchallenged 1 on 1 with the keeper. 3-2 STC.
With time running down, STC looked good for the result, the back 4 being out under no real pressure, but out of nowhere, it was 3-3. A howler from Bruce sorry Jordan catching a low cross to only then decide to somehow turn and throw it into his own net. The look on everyone’s face was total disbelief, albeit added to some less that complimentary comments.
So 3-3 in a game where the defence had looked solid and 3 goalkeeping errors had put Avery Hill back on level terms. With time running out, STC continued to push, Josh and Lee wasting good chances before Lee picked up the ball 35 yards out and played a great ball into the feet of the on running Slim, who proceeded to go on a mazy, beating 2 players inside the box, before slotting past the keeper off the inside of the post. Great goal and a hat trick for Slim. A good return after forgetting his shooting boots last week and a very relieved looking Jordan in the STC goal.
Both teams were tiring now and the game petered out finishing 4-3 to STC. 2 games 2 wins.
Man of the match this week goes to Slim.
Same time, same place next week lads when we welcome Wickham Park Vets to Fortress Ivor Grove.
