With Slim away, nursing Biug Stan's Cruciate injury, it was once again left to the somewhat baised Mr Kehinde to provide this weeks report.......
11 hardcore stc vets braved the wilds of West Farleigh in gale force conditions. Some of the squad were injured, some were working and one was nursing his dog's bollocks!!!!
The mood in the changing room was calm as the team sheltered from the elements, that was until Hooky decided to take a shit in front of half the team. That was our Q to bin the 11 o'clock kick off and get on with it.
We started the match kicking up hill and against the gale force wind, both teams battled in the storm but stc were on top and had the better chances to open the scoring. Shegs chased down a poor back pass from the defender and narrowly shot wide. Paul omelette hit a 30 yard screamer that shook the crossbar. Gavin hit a shot , saved by the keeper. Stc didn't have it all their way. The oppo hit the bar and the ball rebounded straight to the strike who passed it back to the welcoming hands of Jordan. The oppo had 1 decent player, we'll call him no7. I give no7 respect as he loves getting kicked and loves kicking people, he's about 5ft 6 and weighs 7 stone soaking wet, got a bit of mouth on him an all. Our mid field and defence took turns in letting him know they were there, with Scott doing him the most damage.
I must mention the excellent play down the right wing by omelette, on this occasion he done his defender with ease and crossed a perfect ball, splitting 2 defenders and the keeper, Shegs managed to get on the end of it and by his standards should of scored but sliding in, shot wide. There were no sitters shaun.
So came half time, every player walked off the pitch knowing that they had put in a shift and worked hard against the wind.
The 2nd half started nil nil and stc with all the possession, the oppo could barely get the ball in our half, even with the introduction of some, let's say younger players (so young that they still believe in father fucking Christmas).
Pressure makes goals and 13 mins into the 2nd half, omelette goes on a run down the right, beating 1 then beating 2, he crosses in another perfect ball for Shegs to beat his defender by diving and directing the perfect header into the top corner. Thus making up for not finishing his dinner in the 1st half.
Soon after, gavin came close in a goal mouth scramble, meanwhile the oppo no7 is still getting kicked at every opportunity, this time it was Crabbie. No7 got up to retaliate, Crabbie looked at him and the no7 thought better of it and got on with the game. There was some hand bags and pussy behaviour with Hooky and the no7 if I can remember.
I forgot to mention that Crabbie pulled his hammy half way through the 1st half and couldn't run properly from that point. If we had a sub, he would have definately been used.
20mins into the 2nd half, a throw from deano is flicked on at the near post for Crabbie to stab home a poachers goal. Great effort and we'll deserved for staying on even though injured.
10mins later, omelette finds himself just outside the box with enough space to hit one, and so he does, only to be denied by the width of the crossbar for the 2nd time in the game.
The rest of the game was non eventful and ended 2 nil to stc vets.
The victorious unbeatable invincibles retired to the changing room where Hooky spread his cheeks again, this time for Rob.
We then went on to the quaint country pub to partake in after match grub and beer.
