After what seemed like weeks, the day of the cup final arrived and the team assembled at Clipstone Welfare FC for the biggest match in the history of Plumtree FC (formerly Plumtree Munchengladbach).
Upon arrival the players were mildly impressed with the facilities (although not a patch on the changing rooms at the ‘Theatre of Dreams’ aka Gresham) and were shocked to see the size of the pitch that awaited them. With the Plumtree teams average age approaching 31, a huge pitch wasn’t ideal when playing a team of young lads who were all in their mid twenties and had probably spent the day in bed, or chatting on facebook, lmao.
The teams nerves were soon settled with the arrival of the big man himself, parachuted in as footballs equivalent to Red Adair and sporting a beard similar to his idol Phil Brown, John Acaster was there to take charge of this crucial match. With the team full of old crocks, Manager Godfrey had wisely also brought in another big name signing, fresh from mending the broken limbs in Team GB at the Winter Olympics, Mike had agreed to look after the team for one night only.
The pre match nerves soon reappeared as Toz went for his eighth dump and Chris Kay and Matt Court started their second pack of cigs – this was premiership big game preparation and nothing had been left to chance. The team changed and were put through a gruelling workout by Phil Brown, which was probably more taxing than the double header earlier in the season against Brooks Villa and left a number of the older players searching desperately for their lungs.
As the protocol dictated, the teams were herded back in their changing rooms to await the pre match formalities. The assistant ref checked the teams jewellery, although he drew the line at Roscoes kind offer to admire his Prince Albert. Then the buzzer went and it was time for the teams to brave the crowds and meet the assembled FA dignatories.
With all the pre match formalities out of the way, the game started, the ref who seemed to be excited about being up so late, pleading with the captains to play fairly, avoid extra time or else he’d be in trouble with his mum and miss his story.
Manager Godfrey had picked an attacking line up for the match and in the early exchanges, this approach almost paid dividends, with Plumtree looking threatening on the break and creating the best of the early chances. Unfortunately against the run of play, Vine Inn took the lead following a defensive mistake and scored the opening goal. Plumtrees heads refused to drop and they continued to play attractive passing football but without the important equalising goal and just before half time, Vine Inn doubled their advantage by scoring a second goal.
The ref blew for half time and it was time for Phil Brown to earn his corn. The manager then produced a Russell Crowe/Gladiatoresque team talk and impressed upon the team that if they could score 2 in 10 minutes then we certainly could and that the tie was far from over.
The second half started and Plumtree started well with Matt & Dunc harrying the Vine Inn midfield and the back four dealing with wave after wave of attack. Godfrey then decided to make his first change taking off the prolific Kocacik and replacing him with the slightly more spritely Johnny Rowe.
A few minutes later, after another robust challenge, Chris Kay’s body finally gave in. After his most impressive injury free season to date, the captain was forced off with a leg injury and Plumtree were forced to reorganise. He was replaced by Jon Atkin, who after over 250 appearances for Plumtree was playing in his first and possibly last final at the grand old age of 38.
Plumtree conceded a third soon after, a huge kick from the enormous goalkeeper wasn’t dealt with and their top scorer nipped in to fire an unstoppable shot past the helpless keeper. 3-0 turned to 4-0 within 5 minutes as the Vine Inn striker headed a simple goal, unchallenged in the 6 yard box.
To their credit Plumtree carried on trying to play football and the loudest cheer of the night was heard after Pete Oates bundled home the ball for a late consolation goal.
The game ended and the dream was over, in the end the team that took their chances won the match. Every Plumtree player put in a shift on the night but it was always going to difficult to beat a youthful well organised side.
Well played everyone, and there’s always next year..
