Calamity - An event causing great and often sudden damage or distress; a disaster.
Ten seconds from kick off and superstar left back, Chris Lodge, delightfully dinks in a looping outside of the boot effort from just outside of the penalty area. Cue rapturous applause from the crowd. Unfortunately however these were cheers from the Herts United end as Albion slipped 1-0 behind early on.
This was a sign of things to come from the Albion, and Skysports pundit Chris Kamara, up in the stands at the grange was heard screaming “Unbelievable Jeff” no fewer than six times throughout the course of the game.
The Albion found themselves two behind soon after the restart, but thankfully this kick started the team’s performance with the Albion demonstrating their clear ability to play the beautiful game. Albion clawed themselves back to 2-2 through two penalties converted by fireman Craig “the roof is on fire” Henry. Ian Holyer, free scoring in previous outings for the Albion, turned creator by being involved in both penalty decisions.
What followed Albions equaliser will leave the the boys at match of the day 2 scratching their heads as a catalogue of errors resulted in a long ball by the Herts United ‘keeper finding its way into the back of the Albion net.
Half Time : Herts United 3. Letchworth Albion 2.
After the break things for the Albion went from bad to worse, with three further goals being shipped throughout the course of the half.
Despite this, James Brandon, fresh from an evening of ploughing his field, looked dangerous throughout, so much so that the referee Ian Wilson was keen to praise the Albion heart throb after the final whistle. A lucrative L’oreal sponsorship deal is currently being brokered for the luscious locks of Brandon, with Tresseme also expressing an interest.
Mike Chiu’s pitch side antics were a spectacle to the eye throughout the game, with Skysports player cam being fixated on the fiery china man for no fewer than 70 minutes. Additional stewards were drafted in to surround the managers technical area, in order to protect both fans and players, as an endless array of toys continued to fly out the pram. Needless to say, it was a not a good day for my little ponies.
Full Time: Herts United 6 – Letchworth Albion 2.
Following the final whistle, the entire squad was hustled into the changing room with a thorough dressing down expected from manager Mike Chiu. Thankfully for the players however, a plug could not be located in the dressing room for the hairdryer, meaning the albion squad were spared for another game.
Let’s hope next week’s report starts with one word: Bouncebackability.
