WITH CERNEY BOYS COMING INTO THIS GAME HAVING 3 WINS ON THE BOUNCE AND TOP OF LEAGUE, THIS GAME WAS ALL THE MORE IMPORTANT. UNFORTUNATLEY, UNCOMMITED CERNEYBOY CHRISTOPHER 'SICKNOTE' WEARING RULED HIMSELF OUT FOR THE SECOND WEEK RUNNING, LEAVING GAPS IN THE TEAMSHEET. WEARING GAVE HIS SICKNOTE IN EARLIER THIS WEEK, CLAIMING HE HAD A BACK INJURY. WEARING WAS AGAIN LEAKING BULLSHIT, WHICH FILLED THE CERNEYBOY CHANGING ROOMS. HOWEVER, HE DID MANAGE TO GET OFF HIS ASS TO COME WATCH THE MIGHTY CERNEY. FOLLOWING THIS, TOM JUGGINS AGAIN HAD TO PAY FOR HIS LAZY CUNT OF A BROTHER TO PLAY, WHO IF YOU HAVEN'T GUESSED IS STILL CURRENTLY UNEMPLOYED. ALSO, ANOTHER LATE DROP OUT FROM KIERAN JONES MEANT OLLIE HUGHES WAS AGAIN CALLED BACK INTO THE TEAM. RUMOUR HAS IT HIS FAT FUCKING LEGS COULDN'T HADN'T HIS SECOND ACADEMY TRAINING SESSION...ANYWAY NOT A HUGE LOSS, IF YOUR REFERRING TO HIS ABILITY NOT HIS WEIGHT.
JUST BEFORE THE FIRST HALF WAS UNDERWAY, CERNEY BOYS WAS MORE THAN HAPPY (NOT) TO DISCOVER THAT STEVE COOK WAS GOING TO BE REFFING THE GAME. ALTHOUGH, THIS GAVE CERNEY BOYS SOME CONFIDENCE, AS THEY WERE USED TO PLAYING UNDER SHIT REFS.
CERNEY BOYS STARTED THE FIRST HALF WITH DOMINANCE, LOOKING LIKE THEY BELONG TOP OF THE LEAGUE. HOWEVER, AFTER 20 SECONDS 'OUR BLOODY CORAL' COMMITED A VIOLENT FOUL. SPECTATORS WERE SUGGESTING HE MAY HAVE HAD A CIDER OR TWO BEFORE THE GAME.
THE VILLAGERS PLAYED SOME BRILLIANT FOOTBALL, BUT AGAIN ALL IN THEIR OWN FUCKING HALF AND THE ONLY SHOTS THEY COULD GET AWAY WAS FROM OLLIE HUGHES, WHICH MOSTLY FLEW HIGH, HIGH INTO THE CEILING. 10 MINUTES INTO THE HALF, BOTH TEAMS WERE LEFT SLIGHTLY CONFUSED WHEN JAMES KING PLAYED A GREAT BALL ACROSS THE PITCH, ONLY FOR THE FAT FUCK OF A REFEREE TO SAY THE BALL HIT THE CEILING. STEVE COOK CASUALLY LAUGHED THIS OFF WHEN THE CERNEY BOYS KINDLY CORRECTING HIM, THE STUPID FUCKING PRICK. AFTER THIS, THE CERNEY BOYS CONTINUED TO KEEP POSSESSION COMFORTABLY AND FINALLY TRIED TO GET A FEW SHOTS AWAY. UNFORTUNATLEY SHOTS FROM LITTLER, KING, W.JUGGINS AND CARL O'KEEFFE STILL COULDN'T BREAK THE DEADLOCK.
TOWARDS THE END OF THE FIRST HALF CERNEY BOYS' BRILLIANT FOOTBALL WAS DYING. THIS WAS PROVEN WHEN D.C.F.C'S SKINNY LITTLE CUNT WITH THE QUIFFY HAIR WAS LAID THE BALL DUE TO SOME POOR MARKING. THE PRICK SCUFFED THE SHOT UNDER JAKE STEVENS' DIVE AND ENDED UP IN THE BACK OF THE NET. THIS LEFT THE CERNEY BOYS ON THE BACK FOOT AT THE BREAK, WITH D.C.F.C 1-0 IN FRONT.
POSSESSION STATS: CERNEY BOYS - 95% D.C.F.C - 5%
SECOND HALF.
AFTER A GREAT TEAMTALK FROM THE LADS, CERNEY BOYS CONTINUED HOW THEY STARTED THE FIRST HALF. ONLY THIS TIME THEY MANAGED TO GET A SHOT ON TARGET!! AFTER A GREAT MOVE CARL O'KEEFFE LAID THE BALL TO HUGHES, WHO'S SHOT POWER WAS TOO GREAT FOR THEIR POOR EXCUSE OF A KEEPER, RESULTING IN THE BALL FITTING NICELY IN THE TOP RIGHT CORNER OF THE NET AND THE SCORE AT 1-1.
THE VILLAGE IDIOTS WERE ON THE COMEBACK AND AFTER ANOTHER GREAT SPELL OF FOOTBALL, HUGHES STRUCK AN INDIVIDUAL EFFORT WHICH THE KEEPER SPILLED, ENDING UP IN THE BACK OF THE NET.
THE CERNEY BOYS BACK TWO KING AND T.JUGGINS WERE DEFENDING STRONGLY, AND AFTER A SWITCH OF PLAY FROM JUGGINS TO KING, KING PLAYED A GREAT DIAGONAL BALL FROM ONE CORNER TO THE OTHER, FINDING NATHAN 'CRACKHEAD' LITTLER. LITTLER CLEARLY SMOKED A FEW OUNCES LESS THIS WEEK AND MANAGED TO CONTROL THE BALL NICELY OFF HIS CHEST, LEAVING HIM SET UP FOR A GREAT LEFT FOOTED STRIKE, WHICH HE FINISHED NICELY. THIS PUT THE CERNEY BOYS UP AT 3-1.
AGAIN DURING THIS GAME STEVENS AND CARL O'KEEFFE'S CHEMISTRY WASN'T LOOKING TOO GOOD. JAKE'S GREAT DISTRIBUTION WAS CONSTANTLY WASTED BY THE BLACK TWAT, WHO'S MISSION IN LIFE IS TO SCORE A BICCY.
THE CERNEY BOYS CONTINUED THEIR GREAT FOOTBALL WHEN CRAIG O'KEEFFE PLAYED A NICELY WEIGHTED PASS TO W.JUGGINS, WHO MADE A CHEEKY STEPOVER OR TWO BEFORE KNOCKING THE BALL TO THE RIGHT AND SMASHING THE BALL IN THE BOTTOM CORNER. UNFORTUNATLEY, THE SMALL BOLD-HEADED SPECTATOR WAS TOO BUSY TEXTING HIS 50 YEAR OLD CLUNGE TOO WATCH HIS SON SCORE A GOAL.
SUDDENLEY THE CERNEY BOYS STARTED TO SWITCH OFF AND D.C.F.C STARTED PUTTING A FEW PASSES TOGETHER. A COUPLE OF MISTAKES FROM THE BOYS LEAD TO SOME SCARY SHOTS FROM THE OPPOSITION, A GOAL WAS BOUND TO COME SOONER OR LATER. THIS TURNED OUT TO BE FUCKING SOONER AFTER SOME MORE POOR MARKING FROM THE IDIOTS RESULTED IN A SHIT GOAL FOR D.C.F.C, SO SHIT THAT T.JUGGINS WOULD HAVE BEEN PROUD OF IT.
THE SLOPPY CERNEY PLAY FADED OFF WHEN W.JUGGINS AGAIN FOUND HIMSELF TAKING IT ROUND ANOTHER PLAYER AND SCORING THE GOAL OF THE GAME, WITH A POWERFUL STRIKE THAT FITTED RIGHT INTO THE TOP LEFT CORNER. DESERVINGLY THE CERNEY BOYS WERE NOW CRUISING AT A SCORE OF 5-2, AND AS THE FAT REFEREE BLEW THE WHISTLE FOR THE LAST TIME, CERNEY BOYS RECORDED THE FOURTH WIN IN A ROW.
POST-MATCH.
AFTER ANOTHER GREAT WIN, THE CERNEY BOYS ARE STILL ON STANDBY AS TO WHETHER 'SICKNOTE' WEARING WILL BE ABLE TO RECOVER QUICK ENOUGH, THE TEAM IS ALSO WAITING ON OUR BIG-HEADED FAT-LEGGED CUNT KIERAN JONES.
ALSO, AFTER HUGE CONTROVERSY ON THE TOUCH LINE CRAIG O'KEEFFE HAS ASKED IF THE TEAM COULD TO ALL SUBSTITUTIONS AT THE EXACT FUCKING SECOND, AS HE IS UNHAPPY THAT HE HAD A 4 SECONDS LONGER ON THE BENCH THAN EVERYONE ELSE. RUMOUR HAS IT O'KEEFFE IS UHAPPY WITH WEARING'S RUNNING OFF THE TEAM AND WANTS TO FIND A NEW CLUB.
MATCH RATINGS THIS WEEK WERE DONE ANONOMOUSLY BY SOME RANDOM UGLY LOOKING LITTLE SHIT ON THE SIDELINES, APOLOGIES TO ANY INACCURATE RESULTS.
