UEA 2s have visited a fair few shit holes so far this season, Luton in particular, but not even that could prepare us for the concrete cesspit that is Stoke. It was an early start for the boys, and despite being the only player to live on campus, Conor Bell still managed to find himself 10 minutes late to the half 8 meet. The coach journey there was long and relatively uneventful, many players decided to nap. However, this journey was special for the very reason that veteran coach driver Nigel graced us with his presence as a passenger. The two crates of Stella sitting at the front of the bus outlined Nige’s intent for the journey, and a day off spent with the Mrs was clearly at the back of his mind.
Kick off came and the egg mcmuffin’s a good half of the team had 2 hours prior to the game clearly fuelled the lads as UEA were out of the traps quicker than Conor Bell kicks out his women the following morning. Unsurprisingly, the pitch was shit, and the ball was holding up a fair bit which at times hindered some of UEAs usual free flowing tika taka football. It didn’t take long however for Okpala, Tsukasa and Willerton to combine for one of the best goals we’ll see all season. The ball was played out wide to Okpala who first time clipped an inch perfect ball on to the head of Tsukasa who cushioned it down across the box for Willerton to side foot passed the hapless Staffordshire goalkeeper. UEA kept their high tempo, Staffordshire looking like a dog chasing its tail at times in their attempts to retrieve the ball. It wasn’t long before Willerton added his and UEAs second goal of the game. Again some good work down the left from Tsukasa feeding Willerton on the edge of the box. The Watford born and bred lad then managed to turn and weave in between two Staffordshire defenders before rifling his shot into the top corner. If you didn’t know better, you might have thought Fernando Forestieri was playing up top for UEA. Speaking after the game Willerton confessed he wasn’t sure whether to take the shot on or not, but after cries of “HIT IT!” from Nige and Jimmy on the sidelines, he knew the ball would be destined for the net. 20 minutes on the clock and Willerton had his hattrick, this time a simple tap in from close range.
Staffordshire were offered a lifeline after a rare lapse in concentration in the midfield which allowed some Staffordshire goon to nick the ball and in all fairness blast it into the top corner, leaving the Mauritian Luchowa with no chance. Any hopes of a comeback however were soon dashed when Willerton added his fourth. Again, a beautifully whipped set piece from Tsukasa leaving the Watford lad with the simplest of volleys from close range. One for the scrap book came next as extroverted fresher Conor Bell managed to get on the scoresheet. Another set piece masterminded by Katase saw him lay the ball off short for Bell to take a touch out of his feet and strike a low shot into the bottom right hand corner.
Half time.
UEA started the second half as they did the first, with Hargreaves and Bell really dictating the play in the middle of the park. As the saying goes in football, 5-1 is a dangerous score line to have at half time so UEA had to remain focussed and maintain the intensity produced in the first half. Despite Staffordshire’s best efforts, the unfamiliar back line of Williams, Phillips, Dryden, and Stirk were muting any attacks their strikers had to offer with aplomb. Soon came UEAs sixth, talismanic forward Read was rewarded for his fantastic work rate up top when he managed to poke the ball underneath the useless Staffordshire keeper. This was not their keeper’s day, one can only imagine his Staffordshire 2’s career will be similar to that of Massimo Taibi’s was at Man United. The poor lad even found himself substituted after 70 minutes for an “injury” suffered during one of his many unsuccessful Omid Djalilli-like dives throughout the course of the game. UEA capped off the performance with a well taken penalty from Hargreaves after Willerton’s super jinking run was halted illegally by, guess who, the Staffordshire goalkeeper. Warge came on to replace Okpala on the hour, followed shortly after by O’Brien to make his BUCS debut. Both impressed, and in reality it could have been double figures, as the rest of the game was carried out with relative comfort.
A superb performance from all the boys, the lads coming into the side really put themselves in strong contention for a regular position in the team. Confidence was exuded throughout the team, no better demonstrated by Tom Stirk’s audacious overhead clearance towards the latter stages of the match. As expected, Nige placed that additional touch of class on the 2s visit to stoke by getting the beers in for all the boys after the game in their SU. Bedford Luton at home next week where UEA can look to further extend their lead at the top with Anglia Ruskin not playing until the 5th of February.
