Terling Villa showed they were up for the cup despite a tough opening 20 minutes in a tough tackling contest with divisoon 1 counterparts Zizou FC.
The 7-0 scoreline was a fair reflection of the overall 90 minutes, however Villa had to overcome a tough start to the game before eventually finding their rythme.
Much of the talk on the terraces before the game however was concerning the absence of new manager Wayne Purser, who did not get off the team bus as it arrived at King Georges Field, with rumours circulating amongst the travelling support that Purser had been placed on gardening leave by Chairman, Groundsman, Secretary, Kitman, Centre Forward and all round good guy, Tristan Woolfenden, for an unauthorised trip to Shite Hart Lane to witness a ballroom dance affair. Woolfenden declined to comment on the matter when questioned, however assured fans that a statement would be made within the coming days and that the BNESL manager of the month for September had not been dismissed from his position.
Fans were hailing Woolfenden as "Woolfendinho" come the end of the game, having masterminded an early switch in formation and personnel to get Villa back in the ascendency. Zizou could and perhaps should have been 2 or 3 goals to the good in the opening stages, but for some brave and instinctive goalkeeping from namesake Gavin Woolfenden in goal (no biological relation to the stand in manager even though one looks like the others mirror reflection).
Tristan Woolfenden opened the scoring with a neat turn and finish from the edge of the box, before his strikepartner Cracknell doubled the advantage ten minutes before half time following some neat interplay between Woolfenden, Collins and Davies.
The all important third goal came early on in the second half for Villa, Cracknell again finishing a neat team move, and it was soon 4 after a wickedly reflected cross from Scott Collins found its way into the far corner of the goal. Good work from Cracknell released Woolfenden to round the keeper and slot home the fifth, before Scott Collins eventually got his name fairly on the score sheet, with a mishit cross that found its way over the goalkeeper and into the far corner.
The real talking point came however when left back Ben Agar-Hutton picked the ball up just inside the Zizou half, before dribbling Messi-esque round three Zizou players and riding several challenges, before eventually being taken down inside the area for a penalty. The crowd screamed for keeper Woolfenden to take the kick, strikers T.Woolfenden and J.Cracknell were playing rock/paper/scissors to determine who had the chance of a hatrick, but it was provider Agar-Hutton who grew some nuts, and stepped up to skillfully scuff the ball along the floor at 3mph, off the inside of the post, along the goalline, before hitting an enormous divot and trickling into the opposite corner!!
A melee followed, it was 3 minutes before the crowd returned to their seats from the field of play, whilst long service centre back Darren Douglas prepared his Transfer Request, having never scored a goal for the club in his 4 season tenure.
The final whistle blew and Villa are safely in the hat for the third round where they shall meet the winners of Cressing FC or CSS Celtic.
At full time our reporter caught up with Chairman Woolfenden, who said "I am not at liberty to discuss the location of Mr Purser, but can confirm that he does remain our long term leader of the team. We are all disappointed with his absence today, however I have been assured that it will not become a regular feature and I must confirm there is a clause in his contract that allows special dispensation for bereavements, for which today was one of those."
Goalscorer Agar-Hutton was ecstatic, "I just can't believe it. I've never scored before, never even hit the target to be fair. This is the best day of my life since my beloved North Korea gained independance and shut off our borders to the peseants of the South. Tonight I shall join my family and feast....on a large Great Dane"
Meanwhile Man of the Match, keeper Gavin Woolfenden, had this to add "Yeah I was pretty mustard today. That's 3 clean sheets in 4 games now. Dazza Pocket Douglas keeps saying its when he's in the team, but we all know that's rubbish. Without me, this team would just be an average side. I'm a model pro, and to all you kids out there, if you aspire to be like me you'll go far in life".
Woolfenden jets off for a mid-season training camp in Mexico on Thursday, and said "i'm really looking forward to it. I can't wait to get some colour to my milk bottle legs. I just wish the Chairman wasn't so tight and forked out some cash towards the trip. This is all self funded you know!".
The keeper played down a pre-match incident involving his beloved brother, with reports suggesting he took a nasty blow to the chest from a stray football, "It's nothing. I love my brother. He has such a great aim with a football at his feet, but on this one occasion he was slightly wayward and struck me fliush in the chest. But as you all know, I bench 120kgs, so the ball actually suffered a puncture on impact and I just brushed it off and carried on with my pre-match warm-up".
Villa now benefit from a well earned break whilst International Matches take place, with Ben Agar-Hutton representing North Korea and centre back Wayne Pike featuring for East Laaaaandon, who supposedly won the World Cup in 1966.
Villa next play Old Bramstonians on 26th October at Fortress Fairstead Road.
